Blog-Generated | Coaching Churches

The Rise Of The Dones: The Done With Church Population

Posted by on January 28, 2020

There can be no doubt based on our own personal experience and great research by Barna and others, that the majority of three entire generations are not coming to church. The days of build it and they will come are over in this post-christian America. Another very alarming trend is those who were once active in church are indeed done and are not coming back. This post by Thom Schultz is a must read for all church leaders:

“John is one of the Dones even though he’s every pastor’s dream member. He’s a life-long believer, well-studied in the Bible, gives generously and leads others passionately.

But last year he dropped out of church. He didn’t switch to the other church down the road. He dropped out completely. His departure wasn’t the result of an ugly encounter with a staff person or another member. It wasn’t triggered by any single event.”

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3 Reasons We Shouldn’t Reject Leadership Culture

Posted by on January 12, 2020

The sad reality is that more churches die because of leadership failures than theological arguments. Some leaders are too passive and insecure, which eventually means the church will never change and die. Other leaders are like dictators and believe they alone have the word from God. The vicious cycle is that most churches then overreact and shift the leadership culture to compensate for their pain. This becomes unbiblical and eventually the pain of the past is so great there is no hope for the future. I highly recommend this post by Ed Stetzer:

“I think leadership is an important issue that’s often overlooked. I know… you think I’m crazy. Leadership resources and speakers abound. But there’s a reason the best place to find leadership books is at a Goodwill or some other thrift store. Yep.

Secondhand stores are like leadership book archive vaults. Why? Well, there seems to be a pendulum that swings… and has swung. In the 1980’s there was much talk about leadership and there was a lot of people writing on it, speaking on it, and just great prominence on it. Leadership theories and ideas were influencing the church and the church was, in many ways, being shaped by that.”

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How Successful People Start Their Day-And Their Year

Posted by on January 6, 2020

William Vanderbloemen is a great leader who has built a very successful business that is also a ministry. He understands all of the tensions between merging work and faith and has a lot to teach leaders about how we can more effectively lead ourselves. This post is excellent:

“Early in my career, one of my mentors told me, “How you start your day affects how the rest of your day will go.” I’ve learned a lot of lessons over the years that have proven true, but this one may be the most solid.

As we start 2020, I think this idea applies to starting your new year, too: how you start your first full week of 2020, what habits and reflection you put into January will affect the rest of your year.”

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The Non-Negotiable Virtue In Leadership

Posted by on December 13, 2019

Great leaders many times can be average to good in their public leadership gifts. However, they must be excellent in what happens in private. Character matters today more than ever and people will not follow someone they do not trust. This post by Matthew Hall drives home this point:

“Leave out one ingredient and the whole recipe falls apart. Some things are just essential. When it comes to leading others, the task is impossible without trust. That’s because trust is at the heart of leadership. If you’re called to lead, you’re called to steward the trust others place in you. Students want to be able to trust their teachers. Spouses want to be able to trust one another. Church members want to be able to trust their pastors. And employees want to be able to trust their managers.”

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Top 10 “Basic” Relationship Skills

Posted by on December 1, 2019

Great leaders have both competency and character and that is why they are effective. Today more than ever, there is a third “C” and it is chemistry. Simply put, it is the ability to lead and work well with other people. Leadership today is far more relational than positional. This post by Dan Reiland is great:

“Getting along with people can be more complicated than it appears. If it were easy, everybody would be good at it!

How you treat people, how they treat you, what makes it work well, and why it doesn’t work when it doesn’t is always important to consider. Conflict is part of human nature.

When the challenges and stress of leadership are added to everyday relationships, conflict is heightened.

The speed and pressure of leadership increase the potential to overlook even the most simple and basic relationship skills. That always gets a leader in trouble.”

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A Toxic Person Is Not Your Fault

Posted by on November 25, 2019

How cruel would it be to walk into a room of blind people and ask them how they enjoyed the sunset today? They cannot see and in many ways its just as unrealistic to expect a toxic person to respond to reason or truth. I must assume responsibility for changing myself but never for changing them. This post by Gary Thomas is excellent, but my only addition would be that God is able to change anyone so never give up:

“If you adopt a wolverine and pour all your love into that animal; if you treat it like a puppy, hugging it and feeding it and playing with it; if you give it the very best care anyone has ever given to a wolverine, the day will still come when that wolverine will attack you, because no matter how kindly you treat a wolverine, it is still a vicious, wild animal, and in the end, its nature will win. It is the same with a toxic person.”

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4 Ways That Exaggeration Can Damage You As A Leader

Posted by on November 18, 2019

Great leaders have the ability to cast vision and inspire people to make changes to accomplish incredible things together. We however have to be careful that we do not use hype instead of reality. If everything requires too much “greatest ever” language, then when the time comes to make major change people will not hear you. This post by Scott Cochrane is excellent:

“As a leader you must certainly project optimism. But when you cross the line into hyperbole, your leadership is facing significant risks.

Recently, a leader in my orbit described a meeting as “Quite possibly our best meeting ever!” Right away, the thought flashed through my mind, “I need to keep watching my own communication for any signs of such exaggeration.” How many of these statements, or statements like them, have you used?”

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8 Ways To Add Margin To Your Day

Posted by on November 12, 2019

Leaders of non-profits and for profit organizations face the same challenges when it comes to personal leadership. If we do not define our priorities, then someone else will gladly do it for us. That puts us in a constant reactive mode instead of a proactive one that makes sure the important things get done everyday. This post by Ron Edmondson is very practical for every leader:

How do you fit more activity into an already busy schedule?

Isn’t this a great question?

How do you create more margin in your schedule – to do the things you want to do and the things you need to do?

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7 Practical Thoughts On Forgiveness In Leadership

Posted by on November 3, 2019

Leadership in a church culture is probably the most difficult challenge any leader can face. Your customers are your volunteer work force and financial investors all at the same time. Therefore, they have lots of power and they can use it to say hurtful things. This post by Steve Tillis is a must read for all leaders:

“Forgiveness in leadership is absolutely critical to leading people.

“You hate me! You pick and choose which members you love!” Years ago, those words were screamed in my ear over the phone by a church member who felt like I had not greeted them well on Sunday morning. In fact, they went on to tell me in the conversation that I only gave them one hug instead of two on that day and then they hung up on me. Maybe the moral of the story is always give your members two hugs on Sunday.

Seriously though, forgiving people and asking for forgiveness is tough work. Forgiveness is to the leader what oxygen is to the lungs.”

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10 Signs Your Leadership Is Driven By Selfish Ambition

Posted by on October 29, 2019

Great leaders can determine what needs to be done quickly and how to do it well. They can pick who needs to do the work and when it needs to be done. The most important question that should be asked on the front end is Why? This post by Carey Nieuwhof answers that question:

Let’s ask an awkward, difficult, and at times piercing question: What motivates your ambition?

That’s an important question to ask. Why? Because if you don’t ask it, I promise everyone else around you will. Mostly I don’t like that question because I don’t like the answer to that question.

Sometimes my motivation is selfish. I recently interviewed Gordon MacDonald on my leadership podcast (if you missed it, it was one of the best episodes we’ve done to date, listen here).

Gordon observed that most leaders in their thirties are driven by ambition. Gordon is a little more accurate than I want to admit.

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