The empty chair represents someone who was in your life and no longer is. The chair is a constant reminder of this painful reality. For me it started when my mother died when I was only 6. I would look at old pictures just to see her sitting at the table. After she died, my dad and I never ate together but I always noticed the empty chair. I hated that chair.
The next major crisis for me was when my daughter lost her husband to leukemia at the age of 31 over a three day weekend. We were absolutely shocked and horrified. I will never forget as long as I live when the funeral was over and we came back to her house for that first meal and there it was the empty chair. Thats when I cried a lot and still do every time I see it.
The empty chair is not just about missed meals together it represents all of the misses. The date nights, ball games, piano recitals, riding bikes, throwing footballs, birthdays, anniversaries, holidays and so much more. The sound of the garage door opening, the good night kisses and the best friend who is gone.
There is an even more painful reality than the death of a loved one. It is when someone is still sitting in the chair but in their heart they are not there. To have someone to be here but not there is far more cruel to everyone at the table than to be dead.
So the challenge for everyone who reads this is to be sure you are present with the people you love. Just showing up is not enough. Unplug from yourself and all your problems and genuinely tune in to the people that matter the most. The kitchen table is one of the most sacred places in all of life be there.