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"If, Then" Marriage Cycle

Posted by on December 20, 2013

All marriages are performance based to some degree because we are all human. However, we should never manipulate change in the other person just to have our needs met. We need to minister and meet their needs and trust the changing to God. Mark Merrill has some practical tips on breaking this cycle:

“Does this sound familiar to you?

“Honey, if you would just plan fun things for us to do, then I would spend more time with you.”

“If you would spend more time with me, then I wouldn’t be so cranky.”

“If you weren’t so cranky, then I would plan fun things for us to do.”

To break this cycle someone has to lead and in my opinion that should be the husband’s role. Read More …

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The 5 Levels Of Leadership

Posted by on December 18, 2013

There is no doubt that people follow their leaders for totally different reasons. In Good To Great, Jim Collins talks about Level 5 leaders who demonstrate high character and an iron will to get things done. Positional leadership is the weakest level of commitment and will never be effective. John Maxwell gives us another helpful model that can help us to be more effective:

“I came up with the idea of five distinct levels of leadership many years ago, and first described the concept in a book inDeveloping the Leader Within You. And in 2011, I devoted an entire book, The 5 Levels of Leadership, to exploring the levels – their upsides, downsides, the best behaviors for that level, the beliefs that help a leader move up to the next level, and how the level relates to the Laws of Leadership.”

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How To Be Available For Your Teenagers

Posted by on December 16, 2013

There may be no more difficult time for parenting than helping your teenagers transition to adulthood. It really is more about our role as parents changing that theirs. If your parenting is still mainly instruction and correction based you are headed for a crisis. Mark Merrill has a helpful post:

“The moments you have with your teenager at home are limited. There are only so many evenings when your whole family will be able to sit around and eat together, talk together, and laugh together. I’d like to encourage you to be strategic in how you spend your time—especially when it comes to being available for your teens.”

This too shall pass !!!! Read More…

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5 Ways To Deal With Emotional Pain

Posted by on December 11, 2013

The one thing we all have in common is that at some point in time other people are going to hurt us. Most of the time we either stuff those painful emotions or dump them in a rage on someone else. There is a better way to deal with them and Ron Edmondson helps us all:

“What do you do with pain? You’ve been injured. It wasn’t fatal, but it hurt. In this post, I’m talking about emotional pain. The fact is emotional pain often hurts more than physical pain. It certainly can last longer. All of us have experienced emotional pain. Some more than others.

What do you do with emotional pain?”

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How To Make A Memory

Posted by on December 9, 2013

It has always amazed me as a parent when I ask my adult children about times when they were growing up they remember as being great. Many times it was not the big trip or the awesome gift but it was the experience of doing something meaningful with them together. Sometimes these moments happen almost spontaneously but most of them take some leadership on our part to make them happen. Great post on practical ideas:

“With every experience, we make memories. But I believe that by being highly intentional, we can create opportunities for deep, meaningful memories of connection and love. Here are the elements we need to make memories that we will be able to look back on fondly for years to come”:

Leading your family is a far greater responsibility than anything you do at work. Read More…

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A Bored Man In The House

Posted by on December 6, 2013

Its easy to lose your passions when you start to take things for granted that should motivate you to be grateful everyday. A bored man is a man who has lost perspective on whats really important in life. Legacy Dad challenges us as men to see the blessings that surround us:

“Are you bored? Does your life have purpose? Are you being a good steward with your time, talent and treasures? Or do you find yourself bored with Life, Work and your Existence?”

When you lose your passion, it won’t be long before you no longer have a purpose either: Read More …

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How To Stop Being A People Pleasing Pastor

Posted by on December 5, 2013

Leading the local church may be the single most difficult leadership assignment I know. Think about it, your customers are your workforce and your financial supporters. With that reality its easy to see when pastors fall into the trap of trying to please everyone. Ron Edmondson has some helpful advice on how to deal with this problem:

“I recognize I am a People Pleaser Pastor. How do I turn the tide on this? How do I stop? I am seeing tension mounting on the team. There is frustration on our staff and it is even spilling over to our spouses, and my vision has hit a brick wall. I really want to move away from this but I am finding it most difficult.”

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What If You Work For A Bad Leader

Posted by on December 4, 2013

I cannot tell you how many times I have been in this situation. Several times I reacted in the wrong way because I could justify my behavior because I was “right” after all. However, in the end if I respond in the wrong way then I am just as wrong as any leader I have disagreed with. Great post from Michael Hyatt:

“About once a week I get an email from someone who wants to know how to work for a bad leader. Maybe their boss is a jerk. Maybe he is just incompetent. Regardless, they are not quite sure how to lead well in this kind of situation.”

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Feelings Of Worthlessness

Posted by on December 2, 2013

At some point in time we all feel like failures and seem to loose the will to carry on with life. The challenges of work and the strain of our family life can overwhelm us to the point we even doubt ourselves and our value in living. When you get to these trying times Mark Merrill reminds us of some important truths:

“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. So many people are desperate in their marriages and in other relationships. They are suffering in silence with feelings of inadequacy and failure and don’t know what to do about it.

So how do you battle these lies of worthlessness and begin to understand the truth that you are valuable?”

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Sports Vs. Church

Posted by on November 29, 2013

I have to admit that I am more than a little old school on this one. I get the whole idea that the family is the primary platform for spiritual growth and that character can be built in sports. However, it still bothers me when I see families making choices that seem to have very little to do with discipleship and more to do with culture. This blog post by Family Discipleship Path will at least challenge your thinking:

“WARNING: The following may make you uncomfortable…may even make you mad!

Last Sunday morning I found myself sitting on a soccer field with one of my children for a tournament game. It was a beautiful morning. The sun was shining. I was enjoying some fabulous coffee.

I was also experiencing great frustration and conflict.”

Very important conversation: Read More…

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