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Category Archive: Core Values

The Power of Gratitude

Posted by on February 12, 2016

I was thinking again about Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff by Richard Carlson where he talked about his tendency to start thinking negative thoughts with all the bad news that is out there today. I fight this as well, especially when you are going through a hard time personally or when there is this slight issue of a failing economy.

It is important to build into your life the daily discipline of thinking about all the good things that you have in your life. We all should be grateful just to be alive and the basics of life including food, clean water and shelter. There are multiplied millions of people who struggle just to make it through one more day.

Beyond that we have families and friends and hopefully we are fulfilled by doing something with our life that we know will make a difference. Through our faith we can have forgiveness for our failures and hope for the future.

The power of gratitude though is released when we go beyond thinking about it and personally telling someone else how thankful we are for what they mean to us. This sets off a chain reaction of them passing on their gratitude to someone else in their life and the cycle continues.

So as we all are waiting today for an invasion of terrorists, the fall of the stock market or who is going to win the election lets start spreading something positive in our lives by telling just one person thanks.

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Everyone Is Looking For Security and Significance

Posted by on January 1, 2016

The two major things that all people are searching for in life are security and significance. Security is the understanding that I am unconditionally loved and significance means that my life has value and meaning.

Most of the time we are searching for both of these needs in all of the wrong places. We try to find unconditional love in human relationships that all inevitably fail us to some degree and cause pain.

Then we look to our career, church and children to give us the meaning and validation in life that we so desperately need. Here again although all of these are quote good things and can give us some degree of significance they to in the end leave us wanting more.

All human relationships are important and being successful in every area of our lives should be our goal. However, the major truth here we are missing is that we can never look to other people or things to give us what only God can provide.

When our relationship with God is first and His mission for our life is the ultimate measure of our success then all other relationships and endeavors play a secondary role and become complimentary and not primary.

Then when the pain, failure and rejection come in this life they can always be measured against the grace and peace that only God can give. The assurance that He will never leave us and nothing can separate us from His love gives us the courage to risk living life to the fullest.

In the end He is enough.

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How Much Is Enough?

Posted by on December 23, 2015

The one incredibly good thing about a down cycle is that it always forces us to separate what is important in life from what is not.

This is a very opportune time for you to be incredibly honest with yourself and ask the hard question How Much Is Enough? What do I really need to be fulfilled and content in my life? Take some time on this and make sure you cover every area of your life, personal, family, career, friends, faith and community.

For most of us as Americans we have never had to answer this question before. We have been told the sky is the limit and if you work hard enough you can accomplish anything you want.

I am in no way condoning anything less than your personal best in every area of your life. However, I am bringing into question a consumer driven philosophy of life that is more concerned with quantity of things than quality of relationships.

For too many of us we have been living out the script that someone else has written for us. It could be a parent, peers, corporate culture or society in general. Now is the time to write our own script that includes our own definition of success in life.

Contentment and gratitude are two incredibly important core values in life. If you do not know the answer to How Much Is Enough, then I am afraid you will never truly experience them.

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The 5 "T" That Will Tell Your Story

Posted by on October 28, 2015

I have often heard that no one call really preach your funeral, you have already done it. All they can do is to tell the stories from others perspective about what you valued during your life. I have never heard one person say they wish they had spent more time at work but rather valued relationships. Mark Merrill has some great insight:

“Have you done any work on your obituary, recently? I’m talking about working on things that matter now. You see, the way you live today will determine what your family will write about and talk about after you have died.

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The Empty Chair

Posted by on October 26, 2015

The empty chair represents someone who was in your life and no longer is. The chair is a constant reminder of this painful reality. For me it started when my mother died when I was only 6. I would look at old pictures just to see her sitting at the table. After she died, my dad and I never ate together but I always noticed the empty chair. I hated that chair.

The next major crisis for me was when my daughter lost her husband to leukemia at the age of 31 over a three day weekend. We were absolutely shocked and horrified. I will never forget as long as I live when the funeral was over and we came back to her house for that first meal and there it was the empty chair. Thats when I cried a lot and still do every time I see it.

The empty chair is not just about missed meals together it represents all of the misses. The date nights, ball games, piano recitals, riding bikes, throwing footballs, birthdays, anniversaries, holidays and so much more. The sound of the garage door opening, the good night kisses and the best friend who is gone.

There is an even more painful reality than the death of a loved one. It is when someone is still sitting in the chair but in their heart they are not there. To have someone to be here but not there is far more cruel to everyone at the table than to be dead.

So the challenge for everyone who reads this is to be sure you are present with the people you love. Just showing up is not enough. Unplug from yourself and all your problems and genuinely tune in to the people that matter the most. The kitchen table is one of the most sacred places in all of life be there.

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7 Things There Will Never Be Enough Time For

Posted by on October 23, 2015

One of the biggest turning points in my leadership journey was when I saw Stephen Covey’s Time Management Matrix in 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Up until that point, I was almost 100% reactive and never thought about taking responsibility for things that were important but not urgent. Carey Nieuwhof does a great job with taking this principle to the max:

“There are at least 7 things in leadership there will never be enough time for…unless, of course, you make it. And smart leaders do. My guess is that whenever you read this, you’re already feeling pinched for time and a bit overwhelmed.”

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5 Character Tests That Every Great Leader Passes

Posted by on October 5, 2015

When I started this leadership journey in corporate life competency was the ultimate factor in hiring and promoting leaders. Your resume which showed your academic credentials as well as your experience trumped everything else. Stephen Covey with 7 Habits broke new ground and shifted the conversation to character driven people. Carey Nieuwhof has a great post:

“The longer I lead and the more I see, the more I’m convinced that character ultimately determines a leader’s true success. Moral failure takes out more leaders than it should. But real success is deeper than just avoiding the ditch.”

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Breaking Financial Bondage

Posted by on January 7, 2015

I just completed my first year where every week I posted to our budget with Quicken and did serious work on accomplishing our financial goals. Oh I have done this for years before but never with the convictional motivation I had this year and it was incredible. Mark Merrill helps you start this year in the right way:

“The holidays are over. The tree is down and the boxes and shredded wrapping paper are in the trash. But for many families this year, there will be regular reminders of those gift-giving memories – bills.”

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Excellence Is A Choice

Posted by on November 7, 2014

There is a major difference between seeking excellence compared to wanting perfection. Perfection has no tolerance for risk that might lead to failure while excellence demands risk for the sake of improvement. Excellence has no tolerance either for average but it does not create a culture of fear and intimidation. Character driven leaders cannot settle for anything less than their best and Scott Williams has some great insights:

“Often times Excellence is viewed as this moving, high-level target that only a select group of fortuitous individuals can achieve. Excellence is simply a choice, it’s choice to: study more, practice longer, take that extra step in customer service,

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The Leaders Bucket List

Posted by on October 20, 2014

I have watched this movie probably 5 times and I want to say its because of the incredible acting. But beyond that we all cannot help but think about what things would make our list. When it really gets serious for me is when the things are not for fun anymore but for the influence to really make a difference in this life. John Maxwell has some great thoughts for leaders:

“Everyone we meet has the potential to teach us something. Of all the sources of knowledge available to us in the Digital Age, the richest repository of wisdom still resides in the hearts of the people we interact with each day. The Internet can help us track down information, but life’s deepest truths are best learned in the context of relationships, from people who have lived and breathed them.”

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