Category Archive: Church Scattered

The Problem Of Leaders Adding Too Much Value

Posted by on July 7, 2017

Every day we have conversations with people who are trying to tell us something we already know.  Most of the time we interrupt them in mid sentence and complete their thought so we can move on to something else that we think is more important.

There are sometimes when this is very appropriate, especially where timing is extremely important and we must make decisions quickly.  However, the vast majority of times our stopping them is totally inappropriate for a variety of reasons.

First of all, we really do not know for sure all that they were going to say. Many times they do know something we need to hear but we are too impatient to wait and listen.  Also, we have this need to impress people with our knowledge and experience to the point we come across as rude and insensitive.

In a business environment we feel justified in cutting to the bottom line for productivity sake but we fail as leaders to see the value in allowing other people to participate in the process.  If you only see your team as a means to your predetermined end, then in reality they are only attending this meeting for their information and not for their involvement.

The willingness to listen to someone regardless of the value of the information communicated is an investment in them as a person.  The agenda is no longer what can they do for me but how can I help them develop.

There is a time to add value and genuinely help someone by what you know but only after they have had their opportunity to shape the conversation first.  Nobody likes someone who always thinks they know it all.  Let’s be sure we are not that someone.

 

Developing Leaders For Life

Posted by on June 23, 2017

The whole idea behind The Convergence Point my leadership development company is that people will be able to sort through all the noise and activity that is out there and find real meaning and purpose in life.  This means that we really need to know what we want and make sure we are willing to pay the price to get it.

I want to erase the artificial lines that exist between the personal and professional.  The cost is too high to succeed in one only to fail in the other.  It’s not really work-life balance we are looking for but life work integration.

For most of us this means that we will have to be willing to buy into the whole concept of Less is More.  The overwhelming majority of us have full calendars but empty hearts.  To create the margin we need for meaningful relationships something has to go.

It may be something as simple as less entertainment and more conversations.  It may be something as complex as changing careers and downsizing to create the emotional space we need to move the people we care about to the top of the list.

Life is a journey and we only get to do this once.  I can think of nothing more important than the merging of your values and your voice into the everyday Business of Life.

Why Leaders Are Hired For Talent But Fired For Chemistry

Posted by on June 21, 2017

The two primary things you used to look for in hiring new leaders for your team were character and competency in that order.  However, with the increasing need for collaboration, I believe there is now a third “C” and that is chemistry.  The ability for the new person to fit into the existing culture and work well with both our process and our people is critical.  This HBR post is helpful:

“Over and over again, organizations are unable to appoint the right leaders. According to academic estimates, the baseline for effective corporate leadership is merely 30%, while in politics, approval ratings oscillate between 25% and 40%.

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How To Know What's Important: Calendars and Checkbooks

Posted by on June 18, 2017

We all want to accomplish the things that are really important in life and learn the discipline to walk away from everything else.  Most of us have not taken the time to write down specific goals in a life plan that involves everything personal, family, faith, friends and our professional lives.  Best practice Living Forward by Michael Hyatt.

So how do we know if we are just filling our schedules with things to do without any serious evaluation or if those are the things that should even be done at all?  We don’t want to get to the end of our lives and look back realizing that a lot of our time was totally wasted on things that don’t really matter.

A great place to start is to evaluate how we are spending our time and our money.  Calendars can tell us a lot about our core values and priorities because they reflect the choices we are making.  No doubt some of our time is not our own to schedule but how we are spending a large percentage of it reflects what is really a priority and what is not.

Are you making time for the people and relationships that you care about the most or are they getting the leftovers at best?  If you really  want to know, take the time to track how you are spending your time for at least a month.  You will be amazed how much of it is scheduled based on what appears to be urgent at the time but in the end is not really important at all.

The next big indicator of what is a priority in our lives is to look at how we are spending our finances.  If we are living beyond our means and accumulating unnecessary debt then we have a major character problem that must be addressed.

More stress is brought into marriage by this one area than almost anything else.  The only solution is again to write down a budget that includes all of your expenses and then have the discipline to post all your transactions and make necessary adjustments to live within your income.

You may think this sounds like way too much work to me and I am already busy enough.  Trust me you are already using calendars and checkbooks anyway but you may not be gaining any of the benefits of leading your life instead of just letting it happen.

 

How To Stop Taking Work Stress Out On Your Family

Posted by on June 14, 2017

By the very nature of our work we have to be on almost all of the time.  We put up with a lot of drama and the productivity demands alone build up tremendous stress.  If we don’t develop habits that allow us to come home with some emotional margin, we will take all of that frustration out on the people who matter most.  Amy Morin has two great proven strategies:

“Do you ever come home irritable because you had a rough day at the office? Do you take out your frustrations from work on your family? If so, you’re not alone.  It’s an issue I address in my therapy office often. I hear from parents who are disappointed in themselves for yelling at their children. I also hear from spouses who are tired of walking on eggshells in an effort to avoid becoming the undeserving target of an entire days’ worth of frustration and anger.”

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Why Pride Causes Blindness

Posted by on May 24, 2017

Pride is a terrible thing.  It causes you to focus only on what is in your personal interest and blinds you to the reality of what you are doing to hurt other people.

The public spectacle that played out in the news concerning Reverend Wright and Barack Obama was been painful to watch. In this tragedy you have two people who once genuinely cared for each other now forced to publicly attack the other person because of what has been said.

Pride also causes you to lose touch with the truth about yourself and what you really believe.  You literally become like the thing you hate but you cannot see it.

The great irony about some of the positions being advocated by the Reverend Wright on the extreme right of black liberation theology is they are really no different than those of other hate speech being advocated by the leaders of the extreme right of white liberation theology.

The only difference between the two groups is literally the color of their skin and if they heard that they would deny it to the death.  What should we all take away from this?

This is not a story just about politics.  It is about every relationship we have in our lives.

When you think the other person is always wrong and you are always right be careful.  The reason you may be able to see their faults is because you are looking at them through the mirror of your own life.

We as Christians are told to always clean up our own issues before we  even begin to criticize someone else.  God does resist the proud but he will give His grace to the humble.

3 Steps To Resolving Conflict

Posted by on May 19, 2017

All of us at some point in time will have conflict and disagreements with someone else either in our personal lives or professionally at work.  These situations can be painful at times but seeking resolution is the only way to maintain positive momentum in your life.

There are at least three critical steps that you must take if you want to restore the relationship and move forward in your own life.

  1.  Own Your Part—In every disagreement there are always two sides to the story.  I have never known a situation where there was not some responsibility for the problem with both parties.  If we think the other party is the major offender then we tend to wait for them to make the first move.  Instead we need to take whatever percentage of the problem is ours even if it’s minor and do what we need to do to admit it and ask for forgiveness regardless of what the other person does.
  2. Talk To Person Privately—Most of the time when we are having problems with another person we tend to go to other people first and complain or try to find emotional support.  What we should do is go privately to the person who offended us first and tell them in a respectful way why we are offended and give them a chance to respond.  When we are talking about someone else to another person rather than talking to them the situation will only get worse.
  3. Give Them Benefit Of Doubt—When we sense that a conversation is not going well and we can tell it may hurt us we have a decision to make.  We can either assume the worst about the other person’s motives or we can believe the best.  Many times if we can give them the benefit of the doubt at this critical moment then even though it may still hurt there will be no lasting damage because we give them a pass because we trust their heart.

The reason many times we can so easily see problems in other people is those same things live within us.

How To Make Time For What Matters Most

Posted by on May 15, 2017

The skill sets involved in personal productivity will ensure that you can get more things done faster.  However, they can not tell you if those things should be done at all.  Everyone really needs to develop a life plan that defines the major priorities in their life.  Michael Hyatt’s Living Forward is an excellent tool.  This post by Sherry Swift is also helpful:

“So many of us suffer from the unrealistic, anxiety-based feeling that “there is never enough time.” This feeling usually comes from living a distracted life — one that is constantly interrupted by something noisy and new. As a result of this lifestyle, we are often left feeling disjointed, incomplete and unsuccessful.”

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What The Best Leaders Learn From Hate And Hypocrisy

Posted by on May 1, 2017

Many years ago I learned a very painful but valuable lesson.  It started with the realization that I could so easily see the negative things in others but was totally blind to the flaws in my own life.  The lesson is the bitter truth that one of the reasons we can see things so clearly in others is that those same issues live within us.  This Forbes post is very revealing:

“A few years ago, I was on an executive retreat with 10 friends, all of whom run successful businesses. The idea was that we would learn from one another about how to grow our companies and deal with the challenges we faced.

John Drury, who became an executive coach after selling his advertising agency, served as our moderator. In an exercise that I will never forget, he asked us to list three adjectives to define the person we admire most.”

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Why Highly Productive People Use "Time Blocking"

Posted by on April 26, 2017

The movement toward multitasking felt like progress but in reality it was the worst possible thing for overall productivity .  Yes, during some times of the day I still use it but the game changer for me was the idea of blocking times for work that requires a deep dive without several interruptions.  This post by Abby Lawson is excellent:

“Would you like to learn the secret to becoming insanely productive?  Productivity and organization go hand-in-hand. When we get busy or face times of stress, it’s easy to let things slide. And before you know it, your desk and habits are in disarray. “Time blocking” is a method that just might help you avoid those moments of chaos, and keep your mind and office clear.”

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