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Category Archive: Church Scattered

One Day At Time

Posted by on April 25, 2017

The Christian life at times can be extremely complicated. We all suffer from the consequences of our bad decisions but sometimes we suffer not because we have done something wrong but as a testimony to the world that God’s grace is indeed sufficient.

I have learned the hard way over the years that the only way to work your way out of one of these black holes of the soul is to discipline yourself to live one day at a time. When you do not know why things have happened and how it is all going to work out it comes down to what can I do right now.

The first practical step in this process is to experience forgiveness for the past. We must first receive it for what we have done wrong and then give it to others who have hurt us and caused pain. We should learn from the past but we cannot live in it.

The second step is to have faith for the future. God is able and He is good so you can rest in the fact that He will meet our needs. All worry and fear will do is to rob us of the spiritual energy we need to live today.

The last and probably most important truth is to embrace His promise of grace for today. Every new day comes with the necessary spiritual power to deal with whatever happens within that twenty-four hour period of time.

If we do not waste that power on unforgiveness for the past or fear of the future then we will be able to live today with eternal perspective. That perspective is that no matter what happens to me in this life that may hurt deeply at the time we win in the end.

Categories: Personal Leadership Spiritual Growth | Comments Off on One Day At Time

Crashing Churches

Posted by on April 22, 2017

It seems that a week cannot go by without hearing about another church that is in crisis. The issues have gotten to the point where the entire community knows about the problems as well as people outside the area.

The amazing thing is that once you evaluate what went wrong in almost every situation it had nothing to do with a moral failure with the leader or some controversy concerning doctrine. At the end of the day, there was a leadership failure within the church that directly related to how people should relate to each other.

People on all sides of the issues, from the pastor to the pew do not apply the principles of Matthew 18 where you should go and talk directly to someone instead of talking about them behind their backs with other people. Often times these conversations are veiled under the acceptable premise of sharing prayer requests when in reality they are nothing more than gossip.

When someone comes to you with negative comments about another person you have an opportunity to be a part of the solution or a part of the problem. My first question is always the same, Have you talked with this person directly about this problem?

If the answer is no, I will not listen to what they have to say and I will challenge them to go and speak with the other person. If the answer is yes, and there are still issues then I will be glad to get involved and see if I can help resolve the conflict.

In the strictest sense this really is a theological problem. It is not one though where there is disagreement on what the scriptures say, it is simply a failure on all sides to be obedient to clear teaching that cannot be denied.

Categories: Pastoral Leadership Spiritual Growth | Comments Off on Crashing Churches

The Incredible Priority Of Personal Development

Posted by on April 19, 2017

I was attending a conference many years ago and heard for the first time this life changing quote, “You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.” I made a commitment on that day to apply this principle in my life.

The people you meet part of this development applies to all of life. There is great wisdom in finding people who know more than you do about your area of expertise or interest and asking them for a meeting so that you can learn all that you can from someone who has already been where you want to go. Every year you should have a list of at least ten new individuals that are successful and willing to invest in your life.

Please do not limit this to your professional life because you can find people everywhere who are great spouses or parents or involved in church and community work. Some of the greatest connections I have ever made were in the normal flow of life because I was always looking for someone who could teach me something.

In the area of reading I have found that for every ten books that I read on a particular subject I will find at least one that will permanently change my life for good. These become the books that you read at least once a year just to remind yourself of all the truths that you need to make sure you are applying in your life.

One of the disciplines I have developed over the years is that I will write the power statements or great quotes on the inside flyleaf of every good book so that I can always go back for a quick review. If you will set a goal of at least one new book a month to start you will be amazed by how much your life will change because as you read your capacity to understand and develop new skills will be exponentially multiplied.

I am sure if this quote were made today it would include some reference to the incredible amount of information on the web. Today you can read blogs and watch videos by some of the greatest communicators on life’s most challenging subjects whenever you want and usually without any cost but your time.

All learning that enhances personal development is an investment in your future that will give you an incredible return on your investment.

Categories: Leadership Development Personal Leadership | Comments Off on The Incredible Priority Of Personal Development

5 Questions Leaders Should Be Asking All The Time

Posted by on April 16, 2017

For my first twenty years in corporate life, the leader was the answer man. The positional authority leader was always the one who could solve your problem or give you direction. In essence, the leader was responsible for answering all the questions. Today leadership theory and practice according to this HBR post, has shifted to more collaboration and now the leader needs to know how to ask great questions:

“The best teachers all have at least one thing in common: they ask great questions. They ask questions that force students to move beyond simple answers, that test their reasoning, that spark curiosity, and that generate new insights. They ask questions that inspire students to think, and to think deeply.

As a business leader, you might have years of experience and the confidence of your organization behind you, so it may be tempting to think that your job is to always have the right answers. But great leaders have to inspire the same curiosity, creativity, and deeper thinking in their employees that great teachers inspire in their students – and that starts with asking the right questions. Any answer is only as good as the question asked.”

How To Deal With Anger In Marriage

Posted by on April 14, 2017

Sadly, I know far too much about this subject, especially from the giving end. When our feelings are hurt we must not stuff inside or dumb our emotions on the other person. I have built in the discipline to first filter my emotions before I share them. Then it’s all about saying the right thing, the right way and at the right time. This post by Mark Merrill is great:

“The famous American humorist and actor Will Rogers once said, “People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.” It’s hard to deal with an angry person and it’s even harder when the angry person is your spouse.

Anger, only one letter away from “danger,” is poison to the soul and corrosive to the bonds of marriage. You may have heard the idea, often associated with Alcoholics Anonymous, that holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

Knowing When Its Time To Quit

Posted by on April 7, 2017

As Seth Godin points out we have all heard the expression winners never quit and quitters never win. In real life that is simply not true because knowing when to quit something that is clearly not working is the secret to winning because it gets you one step closer to the one thing that you were meant to do with your life.

Many times we take jobs thinking that we have finally found the answer to what do I want to do with my career. Many months later we realize that what we expected was wrong. We should never quit just because the work is challenging and the people with whom we work are not the best.

However, when you have done your best and the day to day responsibilities that you have been assigned are not bringing any challenge or lasting value then you need to find something that you can be passionate about doing. Our work should be something we care about, to the point that we look forward to going in every day, because what we do really matters.

Sometimes, we really like what we do but the team of people we are doing it with are merely takers and not givers. They are out for number one and there is an atmosphere of backbiting , constant stress and negative criticism that drives the culture of the organization. No matter how much you like what you do if you cannot enjoy the journey with the people you are doing it with it is simply not worth it.

Becoming a serial quitter for all the wrong reasons can be a fatal character flaw that will negatively impact your entire life. Quitting for the right reason can be the best thing you have ever done because it can lead you to a brighter future.

Categories: Career Development Leadership Development | Comments Off on Knowing When Its Time To Quit

The Calling Of The Christian

Posted by on April 5, 2017

The days of build it and they will come are over for churches. We may not want to admit it but for most Christians when they talk about church in their minds it’s about what happens at the buildings and not out in the community.

We must as leaders move the conversation from what we do on Sunday to what we do every day of our lives. The Christian life is not just about coming to church but being the church everyday where we go to school, live in our neighborhoods and work in our careers.

I recently met with a very successful committed Christian who is a pediatrician who wanted to grow more spiritually and get more involved in ministry. It was obvious to me from the very start of the conversation this meant to him taking on more responsibility at the church.

I began to share with him the vision that he could do more through his practice to reach young couples for Christ than we could ever do at the building. They would not even come to the building to hear Billy Graham but they were several new couples sitting in his waiting room every week expecting their first child.

In this postmodern age, we must never minimize the importance of the church gathered for worship and ministry but we must prioritize the church scattered for evangelism and missions. We must find new ways to take the gospel to where people live, work and play.

By the end of the conversation the light had come on for my friend because he no longer had a career but he now had a calling. That’s what happens when you change the definition of success from increasing profits to impacting people.

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How To Find Margin For Your Total Life

Posted by on March 24, 2017

If there has ever been a day when the demands of work and home have been greater I am not aware of it. The sheer pace of life today leaves us emotionally and physically worn out and feeling empty at the end of most days.

Technology keeps us connected all the time and people in the workplace culture almost demand that we stay available 24-7. Our families are all running on the same high speed treadmill that produces stress in every area of our lives.

There are several key principles that must be in place if you want to create margin for the people and priorities that you care about the most:

Lead Yourself First—it is impossible to successfully help lead other people at work or in the home if you are not able to accomplish what is most important in your own life. You should set specific goals in the areas of health, personal development and faith with the necessary time allotment to make sure they get done.
Prioritize Your Family Next—at the end of your life it will not matter how much professional success you have had if you consistently neglected your role as a spouse and parent. There are no guarantees that time alone will produce a great marriage and character driven children but without it there is a high probability that both areas could fail.
Choose Right Career—most organizations are looking for people who will perform and improve their bottom line. However there is a growing awareness that if you want to attract and keep the best people you have to give some deference to work-life balance. The key is you have to be outstanding at what you do and you have to be in a culture that will reward that effort by giving you more time off and not more projects to accomplish.
Develop Life Plan—it never ceases to amaze me that some of the most effective leaders in the corporate arena do not practice any of the leadership disciplines that made them successful in their home and personal life. The can lead multi-million dollar projects from start to finish at work but not take more than 30 minutes to plan the annual family vacation.

When you develop a total life plan with goals and strategies for everything personal, private and public you just assumed the C.E.O. leadership role for your whole life. You will never have a more important job.

Categories: Margin Marriage Spiritual Growth Work Life Integration | Comments Off on How To Find Margin For Your Total Life

9 Great Paradoxes Of Our Time

Posted by on March 22, 2017

In a day when our calendars are beyond full and yet our lives seem to be empty something has gone wrong. We in many cases have assumed because we are busy the things we are doing must be important.

We clearly have shifted the focus from being as a person to doing and what we are able to accomplish. Technology has helped us in many cases simply to do the wrong things faster.

The great paradoxes of our time have been summed up well by the Dalai Lama:

“We have more conveniences, but less time.

We have more degrees, but less sense…more knowledge but less judgment.

More experts, but more problems.

More medicines, but less healthiness.

We have been all the way to the moon and back but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor.

We build more computers to hold more information that produce more copies than ever before, but have less communication.

We have become long on quantity, but short on quality.

These are the times of fast foods but weak digestion.

It is a time when there is much in the window but nothing in the room.”

For many of us we have been living the script for our lives that were given to us by someone else; parents, peers, friends or the culture we live in. The time has come for us to have the courage to say no and the passion to write our own.

Categories: Life Plan Marriage Work Life Integration | Comments Off on 9 Great Paradoxes Of Our Time

Beyond The Walls

Posted by on March 21, 2017

Categories: Church Scattered Contextualization Missional Living Pastoral Leadership Spiritual Growth Staff Development | Comments Off on Beyond The Walls