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Category Archive: Church Scattered

"If, Then" Marriage Cycle

Posted by on December 20, 2013

All marriages are performance based to some degree because we are all human. However, we should never manipulate change in the other person just to have our needs met. We need to minister and meet their needs and trust the changing to God. Mark Merrill has some practical tips on breaking this cycle:

“Does this sound familiar to you?

“Honey, if you would just plan fun things for us to do, then I would spend more time with you.”

“If you would spend more time with me, then I wouldn’t be so cranky.”

“If you weren’t so cranky, then I would plan fun things for us to do.”

To break this cycle someone has to lead and in my opinion that should be the husband’s role. Read More …

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The 5 Levels Of Leadership

Posted by on December 18, 2013

There is no doubt that people follow their leaders for totally different reasons. In Good To Great, Jim Collins talks about Level 5 leaders who demonstrate high character and an iron will to get things done. Positional leadership is the weakest level of commitment and will never be effective. John Maxwell gives us another helpful model that can help us to be more effective:

“I came up with the idea of five distinct levels of leadership many years ago, and first described the concept in a book inDeveloping the Leader Within You. And in 2011, I devoted an entire book, The 5 Levels of Leadership, to exploring the levels – their upsides, downsides, the best behaviors for that level, the beliefs that help a leader move up to the next level, and how the level relates to the Laws of Leadership.”

How To Be Available For Your Teenagers

Posted by on December 16, 2013

There may be no more difficult time for parenting than helping your teenagers transition to adulthood. It really is more about our role as parents changing that theirs. If your parenting is still mainly instruction and correction based you are headed for a crisis. Mark Merrill has a helpful post:

“The moments you have with your teenager at home are limited. There are only so many evenings when your whole family will be able to sit around and eat together, talk together, and laugh together. I’d like to encourage you to be strategic in how you spend your time—especially when it comes to being available for your teens.”

This too shall pass !!!! Read More…

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5 Ways To Deal With Emotional Pain

Posted by on December 11, 2013

The one thing we all have in common is that at some point in time other people are going to hurt us. Most of the time we either stuff those painful emotions or dump them in a rage on someone else. There is a better way to deal with them and Ron Edmondson helps us all:

“What do you do with pain? You’ve been injured. It wasn’t fatal, but it hurt. In this post, I’m talking about emotional pain. The fact is emotional pain often hurts more than physical pain. It certainly can last longer. All of us have experienced emotional pain. Some more than others.

What do you do with emotional pain?”

How To Make A Memory

Posted by on December 9, 2013

It has always amazed me as a parent when I ask my adult children about times when they were growing up they remember as being great. Many times it was not the big trip or the awesome gift but it was the experience of doing something meaningful with them together. Sometimes these moments happen almost spontaneously but most of them take some leadership on our part to make them happen. Great post on practical ideas:

“With every experience, we make memories. But I believe that by being highly intentional, we can create opportunities for deep, meaningful memories of connection and love. Here are the elements we need to make memories that we will be able to look back on fondly for years to come”:

Leading your family is a far greater responsibility than anything you do at work. Read More…

Categories: Marriage Parenting | Comments Off on How To Make A Memory

A Bored Man In The House

Posted by on December 6, 2013

Its easy to lose your passions when you start to take things for granted that should motivate you to be grateful everyday. A bored man is a man who has lost perspective on whats really important in life. Legacy Dad challenges us as men to see the blessings that surround us:

“Are you bored? Does your life have purpose? Are you being a good steward with your time, talent and treasures? Or do you find yourself bored with Life, Work and your Existence?”

When you lose your passion, it won’t be long before you no longer have a purpose either: Read More …

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Feelings Of Worthlessness

Posted by on December 2, 2013

At some point in time we all feel like failures and seem to loose the will to carry on with life. The challenges of work and the strain of our family life can overwhelm us to the point we even doubt ourselves and our value in living. When you get to these trying times Mark Merrill reminds us of some important truths:

“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. So many people are desperate in their marriages and in other relationships. They are suffering in silence with feelings of inadequacy and failure and don’t know what to do about it.

So how do you battle these lies of worthlessness and begin to understand the truth that you are valuable?”

Sports Vs. Church

Posted by on November 29, 2013

I have to admit that I am more than a little old school on this one. I get the whole idea that the family is the primary platform for spiritual growth and that character can be built in sports. However, it still bothers me when I see families making choices that seem to have very little to do with discipleship and more to do with culture. This blog post by Family Discipleship Path will at least challenge your thinking:

“WARNING: The following may make you uncomfortable…may even make you mad!

Last Sunday morning I found myself sitting on a soccer field with one of my children for a tournament game. It was a beautiful morning. The sun was shining. I was enjoying some fabulous coffee.

I was also experiencing great frustration and conflict.”

Very important conversation: Read More…

Categories: Core Values Parenting Pastoral Leadership Spiritual Growth | Comments Off on Sports Vs. Church

Create Better New Year

Posted by on November 29, 2013

It is that time of the year when we evaluate the current year and start planning for the next. What got us to this point in our leadership journey will not likely get us to where we need to be next year. We must constantly be making changes and continuing to learn. Mark Miller has some great insights on how to create better plan:

“Have you begun you planning for 2014? If you lead an organization, I’m guessing you started months ago. How about your personal plan for a better 2014 – have you begun creating that yet? If you haven’t, now is a great time to start! I’ve been a fan of individual development plans for many years. I feel the process has helped me grow in all areas of my life.”

An Unguarded Strength Is A Double Weakness

Posted by on November 27, 2013

We are often emotionally moved when we hear a great speech or read a great book but we are rarely permanently changed. Where is the breakdown between what we feel in the moment and what never seems to become a part of our daily lives? The Legacy Dad blog takes on this important subject in all of our lives:

“There are things that I really like about men’s conferences, leadership conferences, and so on. And if we are all honest, for those of us that go to these conferences, we find ourselves for the first week (few weeks, months or slightly thereafter) doing these things that we say we are going to do and THEN life steps back in and we lose our focus and our way.”