Category Archive: Church Scattered

Listening

Posted by on February 20, 2009

The key area that is lacking for most leaders as they face the highly participative team dynamics that exist today is people skills.  All executive coaching research clearly points to this reality and most leaders have major blind spots when it comes to this truth and that is why it can destroy team morale and productivity.

Of all the people skills that show up on most lists of inappropriate behavior poor listening goes to the top in all current studies.  Marshall Goldsmith calls it the most passive aggressive form of disrespect for colleagues.

All of us catch ourselves thinking about what we want to say rather than really concentrating on what the other person is communicating.  Stephen Covey made seeking to understand the other person a priority before you seek to be understood as one of his 7 habits of highly effective people.

We must understand that listening is not a passive behavior.  It requires several active disciplines to be successful. 

We can clarify what someone has said by restating what we heard and what we think they meant.  We can explore by asking additional questions about what has been said.  Then we can seek confirmation from the person that is what they intended to convey.

Once you are confident you have fully understood what the other person is saying then you must take a moment to think before you speak.  Make sure your response is not coming across as defensive or attacking the other person regardless of whether you agree with them or not.

 

 

Categories: Career Development Personal Leadership | Comments Off on Listening

Worship Wars

Posted by on February 19, 2009

This is a subject that really breaks my heart because the pain that has been suffered by so many good people is so unnecessary.  If this issue is not dealt with in a thoroughly biblical manner most of our current churches will stop reaching the next generation and will eventually die.

To be sure our people should be spiritually mature enough to not insist on their own personal musical preference so that others may come to Christ.  However, poor leadership has caused far more problems than “older adults” that only want their hymns.

For at least 50 years or longer one basic musical style was enjoyed by both the World War II and the Baby Boomer generations.  Large choirs and orchestras were the preferred choice that could lead a primarily performance style of service that was a blessing to many.

Today the emphasis has shifted to participation styles of music that involve the people in worship and praise.  In our current services it is no longer come sit, watch and listen as it is get involved and enjoy.

I think every generation has its own heart language when it comes to music in worship.  The problem comes when we try to force everyone into one box and demand they like it or leave.

 I think the days of building one massive worship center are over.  As soon as your church grows large enough for multiple services you are already multi-congregational.  At that point if you are reaching different age groups you can choose to be multi-generational.

Then when you plan a service ask yourself one simple question, who is in the room and what do they need from the music and the message to help them move into the presence of God? 

 

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Web Sites

Posted by on February 18, 2009

Almost every church in America now has a web site.  Many I have seen would be better served if they did not because having a poor to average web site is worse than having none at all.

They are very important in reaching new people because they will probably visit your site before they visit your campus.  If they are disappointed with the site because it was done poorly or if there is obvious outdated information they will probably not come at all.

The two most important things about web sites are that today they must go beyond words and pictures.  People want to experience your ministries before they buy the live product.

You must provide quality video and audio capabilities so that people can see and hear your worship before they come.  They want to know what type of environment their children will be in and something about the quality of programming they will be offered.

The second most important thing about a web site is that it will never take the place of a relational connection that your people are making with unbelievers during the week.  The web site is an important step but it will always be the second step and in and of itself it will not automatically draw people to your church.

Categories: Career Development | Comments Off on Web Sites

The Target Has Changed

Posted by on February 17, 2009

Any time you talk about some group of people being your primary target most people in the church get offended.  It is if they are concerned that because they are not in the target group their needs are not going to be met.  This of course should not have to be the case at all.

For over fifty years at least the same target group has existed from a demographic and psychographic standpoint.  They were the adults that made up the World War II and the Baby Boomer generations.  We developed programs and services to meet their needs and they would bring their children to church with them.

A typical adult conversation on the way home would be how did you like the message, music and the lesson?  If both adults had a good experience, then they would deal with whatever issues the children had and bring them back the next Sunday.

Today the overwhelming majority of adults under the age of forty are not coming to church any more.  They have a different world view about God and the need for role of the church in their lives.

When they do come because someone has relationally connected with them at work or in the neighborhood the conversation on the way home has completely changed.  Now the major thing that matters is what type of experience did their children have and do they want to come back again?

If the answer is yes, the adults are now willing to make the adjustments and they will be back.  If the answer is no, then regardless of what happened to mom and dad they are not going to give you a second look.

If your preschool, children and student ministries are not world-class in your church then you cannot expect to reach families in today’s culture.  The conversations on the way home have changed and your target group must change with it as well.

 

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Personal Mission Statement

Posted by on February 16, 2009

All of us have become proficient at doing all the major components of the business plan at work.  We know how to define goals, create plans, execute priorities and evaluate success.

However, very few of us use these same disciplines to help lead our personal lives.  Research shows that approximately 95% of us have never written out our personal goals in life, but of the 5% who have, 95% have achieved them.

Steven Covey popularized the phrase Personal Mission Statement in his bestselling book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.  He makes the point that ultimately all professional success flows out of our ability to lead ourselves first.

Every day we must say no to something because there is simply too much to do when you include the personal, family, career and civic responsibilities of our lives.  If we do not take the time to define what we want our legacy to be for the people and things we care about the most they will by default usually end up on the no list.

What the annual plan does for your corporate productivity and performance your personal mission statement will do for the rest of your life.  It will help define the core values for you personally and your family and set realistic goals with strategies that will help you to write your own script for the totality of your entire life.

It should never be acceptable to succeed in one area of our lives only to fail in all the others.  Take the time to write down what is personally and professionally  important to you in this life because in the end that is all that will really matter.

Categories: Career Development Core Values Pastoral Leadership Personal Leadership Servant Leader Work Life Integration | Comments Off on Personal Mission Statement

Security and Significance Part III

Posted by on February 12, 2009

God has designed us so that the most important needs in our lives can only be met through Him.  His next priority is for us to be in a relationship with our spouse that reflects Christ unconditional love for the church and His willing submission to the will of the Father.

The trap I mentioned in the last post is that we can move our faith to the top of the list of personal priorities but we can substitute church for Christ.  Church in many ways is just like the emotional support we get from our career.

We can serve in an important role and gain significance through our responsibilities and tremendous encouragement from all the people we help.  Although these are certainly good things the danger of religion taking the place of a relationship is always emotionally seductive.

Even with faith at the top of the list and family in second place there are dangers there as well.  When husbands and wives do not place their personal relationship above all other people and the pain of rejection starts hurting both parties they move their remaining emotional energy to the children.

After all doing what is best for the children is a worthy goal and it brings great emotional significance.  It can be easy to justify hanging in a bad marriage “for the sake of the children.”

There is only one major problem, it will never work.  The most loving thing a parent can ever do for a child is to love God in a passionate real way and love their spouse with grace and humility.

Other people and other things can never give us what only God can provide unconditional love and lasting significance.  Beyond that the single most important relationship that we have in this life is with our spouse.  Church and children can be dangerous temporary substitutes but they too will leave us empty in the end.

 

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Security and Significance Part II

Posted by on February 11, 2009

The need to be unconditionally loved and to know that our lives have value and meaning are fundamental to every person on the planet.  We all must have these needs met to some degree and therefore we will keep searching until we find some measure of fulfillment.

We start out in life with our family being the major source of love, protection and encouragement.  When we are in high school and even through our twenties a transition takes place and the two major sources of meeting these needs are now fun and friends.  That is why being a part of some community moves to the top of most young adult’s agenda and they will pay any price to be accepted.

By the time we reach our late twenties we have to start thinking about the future and a career.  For many people the success and emotional support that is offered through work moves this provider to the top of the list.

Family moves back into the list when we get married and eventually start having children of our own.  We even now feel the need to get back in church again so that our children can get what they need as well.

Faith and Family surely will be the answer to meeting our deepest emotional needs for security and significance.  Actually, they can become the biggest trap because even though they are good things they can keep you from the best.

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Security and Significance

Posted by on February 10, 2009

The two major things that all people are searching for in life are security and significance.  Security is the understanding that I am unconditionally loved and significance means that my life has value and meaning.

Most of the time we are searching for both of these needs in all of the wrong places.  We try to find unconditional love in human relationships that all inevitably fail us to some degree and cause pain.

Then we look to our career, church and children to give us the meaning and validation in life that we so desperately need.   Here again although all of these are quote good things and can give us some degree of significance they to in the end leave us wanting more.

All human relationships are important and being successful in every area of our lives should be our goal.  However, the major truth here we are missing is that we can never look to other people or things to give us what only God can provide. 

When our relationship with God is first and His mission for our life is the ultimate measure of our success then all other relationships and endeavors play a secondary role and become complimentary and not primary.

Then when the pain, failure and rejection come in this life they can always be measured against the grace and peace that only God can give.  The assurance that He will never leave us and nothing can separate us from His love gives us the courage to risk living life to the fullest.

In the end He is enough.

 

 

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Teamwork

Posted by on February 6, 2009

Most leaders agree that we have moved from a leadership model that prioritized the positional power of the leader to one that involves the input of others included on their team.  However, there is still a lot of misunderstanding about the changing role of the leader and the appropriate role of the team members.

One of the best books I have read on this subject is The Performance Factor by Pat MacMillan.  The book not only deals with all of the philosophical issues involved in this major leadership transition but goes into great detail about practical execution.

The critical characteristics of all high performing teams are:  clear and common purpose, crystal clear roles, accepted leadership, effective team processes, solid relationships and excellent communication.

As in all current accepted leadership theory, they place an extremely high priority on getting the right mix of people on the team.  The key here is diversity of skill sets and experience so that the combined synergistic effect will reach its maximum potential.

The leader’s role is still very critical because they have to be able to draw everyone into the project at hand with passion and then be able in the end to reach a decision that works best for bottom line.  This is not a personality contest or group therapy it is still about producing outstanding results that accomplish critical priorities.

Categories: Career Development Pastoral Leadership Staff Development Teamwork | Comments Off on Teamwork

Effective Evangelism

Posted by on February 2, 2009

 

For years we have all been told that we are to be witnesses for Christ so that people can come to know Him. The major problem is that the prevailing strategy that has been used for years has never worked for the overwhelming majority of Christians.

The problem is not that this command is somehow out of date to the point that it should no longer be taken seriously.  The critical failure is how we as leaders have modeled this ministry and trained our people to carry out this most important assignment for the church.

In the worst of situations we have trained our people to memorize a lot of facts and then after meeting a total stranger try to share all of the facts with them so they can make the most important decision of their lives all in thirty minutes.

I will acknowledge that in some cases there are divine appointments that God has prepared someone’s heart for just such a meeting.  However, that does not mean that we should take this aggressive an approach with everyone we meet.

In the normal course of everyday we all tell stories about things that have happened in our lives.  The subject matter can be anything from our last vacation, great new restaurants, job stress and personal family problems.

The reason why all of this works so easily is that it is in the normal course of our everyday lives within relationships that already exist to some degree.  This is the biblical model of as you are going about your life share with other people the incredible and wonderful things that He has done in your life.

When evangelism moves from direct confrontation to casual conversations more people are going to respond to the good news of the gospel.

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