Coaching Churches

There may be no more scarier time in life than trying to get through the teenager years.  The short term pain of watching them fail for the long term gain of building character is brutal.  One of the most powerful forces in their lives are friends and you need to be on your game:

“How do you let your teenagers go but at the same time keep them safe? After all, it’s tough being their age these days. Teens are growing up in a world that worships freedom to do what you want, rejects responsibility, and provides many ways for them to do both.”

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Parenting is extremely hard work that requires lots of patience and unconditional love.  There is no stage of parenting that is more difficult that dealing with all the transitions during the teenage years.  Its important to understand its just as hard for them as it is for you.  Mark Merrill has some great insights that will be helpful:

“In 5 Reasons Why Your Teen is Rebelling, I shared with you underlying reasons your teen may be rebelling. Once you understand why they are rebelling, you’ll have a clearer picture of what you can do about it.”

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It grieves me when I see great leaders everyday leave their leadership gifts at work and not effectively lead the people at home who matter most.  If you max out your leadership gifts with your work team and not with your family shame on you.  This is a great post by Mark Merrill:

“When our kids are young, we map out in our minds where we want their lives to go. We want them to be valedictorian and captain of the football team.”

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There is no doubt that every generation faces its own unique set of issues that must be dealt with in a different way.  However, the core issue of how to respond to peer pressure has been a dominant right of passage for every generation.  This is where parents need to lead instead of just reacting.  Mark Merrill has some helpful insight:

“Every child faces peer pressure.  I faced it, my five kids faced it, and their kids will face it too. That pressure can be positive or negative.”

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No, this is not about the greatest news you have ever heard and they have all quote left the nest.  Sorry, the real news is that parenting never ends and to me that is an incredibly good thing.  Too many times we place our own emotional needs on top of our children and thats not good for anyone.  Great post by Mark Merrill:

“I’ve always liked to hold hands with my daughters and still do. As they were growing up, I held their hand as we drove in the car, walked through the mall, and walked up to school.

But I remember learning a lesson when my oldest daughter, Megan, pulled away from holding my hand as I walked her into school. One day we clenched each other’s hand, the next, my hand was without hers. What had changed?”

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There may be no more difficult time for parenting than helping your teenagers transition to adulthood.  It really is more about our role as parents changing that theirs.  If your parenting is still mainly instruction and correction based you are headed for a crisis.  Mark Merrill has a helpful post:

“The moments you have with your teenager at home are limited.  There are only so many evenings when your whole family will be able to sit around and eat together, talk together, and laugh together.  I’d like to encourage you to be strategic in how you spend your time—especially when it comes to being available for your teens.”

This too shall pass !!!!  Read More…

I will admit that I am torn when I see my grandchildren spending lots of time with electronics.  There are incredible upsides to what is available today.  However the are major dangers as well, especially if it takes the place of intentional conversations that deal with real life issues.  Mark Merrill brings his perspective to this challenge for every parent:

“At times, it can seem as if there is an app for almost everything.  There’s no child who will learn about good character from sitting on the couch and staring down at their iPad. It is our job as parents to build character in our kids.  Here are 4 ways to teach character to your kids”

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We all start out as parents providing protection, instruction and correction for our children.  The problem is sometimes we get stuck there and its time for them to go to college.  If we don’t transition our parenting style they will never be able to assume responsibility and become successful. Mark Merrill gives some practical steps to help in this transition:

“Of course, none of us is ever ultimately in control of our lives or our kids. Only God is. But we do have some control over how we parent our children.  When our children are younger, we are more “in control” of them. But as they grow older, we move to being a more “out of control” parent.”

Sometimes the problem is not primarily with the kids but the parents.  Read More …