Category Archive: Personal Leadership

The Nostalgia Of The Past

Posted by on August 21, 2013

Most of us are over scheduled and have way too much stress in our lives.  As a reaction to the pressure of the present we often find ourselves looking back and longing for a time when life was simpler and slower than it is today.

What we selectively seem to forget is that the past had its own set of problems and even though things may have been slower that does not mean they were better.  When we live in the past we also are blinded to the blessings of the present and are not able to enjoy what we have that is good in our lives.

In Richard Swenson’s book entitled Margin he deals with this romantic mentality of turning back the clock to a better time.  He writes, “The analogy of a clock is not helpful.  It is not the question of a clock, but a compass.  The issue is not chronology, but direction.”

It is impossible to create more time in any given day.  With that reality clearly in mind then we are only left with two options.  We must know what is important each and every day and make sure those are the things that get done.

What is not so clear is that this does not mean adding these important things to an already full calendar.  The ability to know what to say no to on a moment by moment basis is the only way we will have the emotional, spiritual and physical margin we need to live today without regrets.

Clocks can only tell you what time it is while your personal compass can tell you what to do with your time.  Big Difference!!!!!!!

How do you maintain margin in your life?

 

Categories: Personal Leadership | Comments Off on The Nostalgia Of The Past

Final Performance Review

Posted by on June 14, 2013

 

We have all had good and bad experiences with this wonderful but sometimes problematic annual rite of passage in corporate America.  It is always helpful to know what is expected of you and to hear from your superiors how they think you are doing.

As Christians we must never forget that ultimately our real employer is our heavenly Father. Because of the price He paid for our redemption we should have a passion to live our lives in reckless abandonment to His will.

His expectations are very clear as we are going about our everyday lives we are to be spreading the aroma of His grace to all of the people we come in contact with in every situation.  Our lives should be living epistles to be known and read by all at home, at work and in the normal patterns of life.

As we unconditionally minister grace to other people we are earning the trust and opportunity to share with them the reason of the hope that lies within us.  Our conviction is that stuff and success don’t really matter in the end but what we have done to move others toward knowing Christ does.

Jesus said it so clearly that it cannot be missed as the Father has sent Him into world He now sends us. We are to be storytellers of His personal grace and compassion in our lives and hope givers for all the broken people who live in utter despair.

During my final performance review I only want to hear one comment, “Well done my good and faithful servant.”

Categories: Personal Leadership Servant Leader Spiritual Growth | Comments Off on Final Performance Review

Promises We Make #7

Posted by on May 24, 2013

This is the seventh in a series of ten posts on promises we should be willing to make to the people that matter the most in our lives.  A promise goes beyond a mere commitment to do something it carries the clear expectation that we are going to pay the price to do what we said we would do.

The first promise was I will sincerely listen to what you have to say.  Really listening to someone without a personal agenda communicates to them that they have value in your life and that you sincerely care.

The second promise was I will always tell you the truth.  Without this there can be no basis of trust, just ask Elizabeth Edwards how painful that can be.

The third promise is I will apologize when I am wrong.  When someone sincerely and genuinely apologizes we know two things.  They are willing to humble themselves and they want to restore their relationship with us because we still matter to them.

The forth promise is I will forgive you when you hurt me.  There can be no lasting peace in any relationship without the power of forgiveness.  This is even more critical when someone has come to us and sincerely apologized they are asking without saying it will you please forgive me.

The fifth promise is I will live with hope and believe the best.  Relationships are messy and there are always going to be times when people do or say things that upset us.  It is at that precise moment that we have a critical choice to make about how we process what we are hearing.  The bottom line is we will either choose to believe the best about the other person or we will assume the worst.

The sixth promise is I will not manipulate change in you.  This deals with our core motivation when we interact with other people.  If our goal in sharing with this person is to only tell them what they are doing wrong and why they should be the one to change then we are manipulating.

The seventh promise is I will always love you no matter what.  This lets the other person know that our love for them is not based on what they do or how they act but who they are as a person.

It in the truest sense it is unconditional love based on grace given and not performance earned.  This gives people the freedom to fail in their relationship with us without the fear of total rejection on our part because of some mistake they have made.

It is impossible to love someone in this way unless you have first received this kind of love yourself.  Once you have experience God’s love you have the capacity to pass it own to others.  You cannot give to someone else what you have not first received yourself.

Categories: Personal Leadership Spiritual Growth | Comments Off on Promises We Make #7

The Danger Of Debt

Posted by on April 5, 2013

There is wide agreement among most evangelicals that acquiring debt as a principle is not sinful but the accumulation of it can be devastating.  The borrower is indeed servant to the lender and when we use debt instead of living within our means then we have crossed a line that can lead to broken homes and failed businesses.

As someone who has counseled many couples with marriage problems a clear majority of the time financial problems are near top of the list.  When couples do not take the time to develop budgets that reflect their mutual priorities in life then they eventually grow emotionally distant because they are trying to find happiness in things rather than relationships.

In a very real sense when we consistently have a lifestyle that is supported by debt rather than income we are living a lie.  Whether it’s the clothes we wear, the car we drive or the home we live in, the bottom line is we are trying to meet a real need in the wrong way.

The only way we can maintain our integrity as a believer is to make sure when we have to acquire debt that we clearly have the means to pay it back within a reasonable time period.  When we fail to pay our bills on time and in full we damage our testimony as a Christian and lost people see absolutely no difference in our values than the rest of the world.

God tells us clearly in His word that if we cannot be trusted with material things then we surely cannot be trusted with the deeper and more important spiritual truths in life.  He promised to meet our basic needs but we must all come to the place of answering the question: How much is enough?

The ability to gain wealth according to scripture comes from God.  He expects us to use that ability wisely and yes meet our needs but more than that have plenty left over to share with those who do not have enough food or water to make it another day.

 

Categories: Marriage Personal Leadership | Comments Off on The Danger Of Debt

Time vs. Timing

Posted by on February 12, 2013

When we all think about the concept of time we tend to focus on the immediate and what needs to be done right now.  Timing on the other hand takes the long look and always wants to ask the question why am I really doing this?

That pause to look beyond what I need or want to happen now can keep us from making some major mistakes in our lives that haunt us for years.

1.       Time focus hurts relationships:  All of us have been hurt or offended by what someone else has said or done at home and at work.  If we react in the moment many times we will say the wrong thing only to wish later we could take it back.  It is never enough just to be right we must say the right thing the right way and especially at the right time.  If your son just failed a major test it is probably not the right time for you to start that you are not going to be able to get into college speech again.

2.      Time focus diminishes faith:  When Joseph was in prison for something he did not do I am sure he wanted out now and many hours were spent questioning God’s judgment.  Joseph was concerned about immediately changing his circumstances while God was concerned about building a nation to lead in His plan of worldwide redemption for the whole human race. 

3.      Time focus rewards urgency:  Just because something hits our inbox or demands that we deal with an immediate crisis at work does not mean that it is really important.  Driven people are extremely busy doing everything they can as fast as they can without ever asking the question should this be done at all?  Time focus is all about efficiency of schedule while timing is primarily concerned about effectiveness of resuts. 

 

As people of faith we must be patient and remember that even sometimes to our dismay God is never early but always to our benefit He is never late.  He will be true to His word and in every situation of life even when we want to give up His grace will be sufficient for the need and it will always come in His perfect timing.

 

Categories: Personal Leadership Spiritual Growth | Comments Off on Time vs. Timing

Security and Significance Part II

Posted by on March 11, 2012

The need to be unconditionally loved and to know that our lives have value and meaning are fundamental to every person on the planet.  We all must have these needs met to some degree and therefore we will keep searching until we find some measure of fulfillment.

We start out in life with our family being the major source of love, protection and encouragement.  When we are in high school and even through our twenties a transition takes place and the two major sources of meeting these needs are now fun and friends.  That is why being a part of some community moves to the top of most young adult’s agenda and they will pay any price to be accepted.

By the time we reach our late twenties we have to start thinking about the future and a career.  For many people the success and emotional support that is offered through work moves this provider to the top of the list.

Family moves back into the list when we get married and eventually start having children of our own.  We even now feel the need to get back in church again so that our children can get what they need as well.

Faith and Family surely will be the answer to meeting our deepest emotional needs for security and significance.  Actually, they can become the biggest trap because even though they are good things they can keep you from the best.

Categories: Marriage Personal Leadership Spiritual Growth | Comments Off on Security and Significance Part II

Sweat the Small Stuff

Posted by on January 1, 2012

We all love the great Bible story of David killing the giant Goliath.  There are many incredible truths in the several chapters that are dedicated to this event.

The most significant one for me is that if we take care of the seemingly little responsibilities in our lives God has a way of taking care of the major ones.  The reason David had no fear of this monster of a man is because with God’s help he had already killed a lion and a bear.

All major public victories that everyone sees are preceded by the smaller private ones when no one is watching.  The other side of the same truth is sadly all major public failures occur because of a series of small compromises that seemed so unimportant at the time.

If you don’t think this is true just ask Eliot Spitzer or John Edwards and they will be glad to share with you how quickly this can happen.  How could these highly intelligent, powerful and dynamic leaders let this happen to themselves and most of all to their families?  Someone has well said an unguarded strength is a double weakness.

Sweat the small stuff and the big stuff will take care of itself.

Categories: Personal Leadership Spiritual Growth | Comments Off on Sweat the Small Stuff

Busyness

Posted by on November 1, 2010

I always receive the highest evaluation scores when I speek on the subject of how to set personal priorities for own life.  The major point of my presentation is that we are all overscheduled because of the wireless connected culture we live in today and we must find a way to say no to many of the things that are robbing us of the priorities we care about the most.

I use a time matrix diagram devleoped by Stephen Covey that divides all of our daily lives into four quadrants that are based on the two variables of urgency and importance.  Everything that is urgent demands some action immediately and the things that are important may not.

If something is urgent and important then it should be done.  It could be a doctor’s appointment personally or a major project at work that is due this week.  Hopefully for most of us at least the majority of our day should be spent in this category.

The next area is all the things that are urgent but not important.  The blackberry is screaming for attention, the inbox is full and there are meetings on the schedule.  The problem here is that we have assumed that because something is urgent it must be important.

Another very unproductive area includes the things that are not urgent but they are not important either.  The danger here is that when we get home in the evening we want to run away and hide with hours of meaningless T.V. or surfing the net.

The single most important category is the things that are not urgent but very important.  This is where family, friends, faith and all of our important relationships reside.  Most of the time our family and our friends will not demand our immediate attention but if we neglect them long enough they will move into the urgent category and we will all suffer the consequences.

The only way to find time for the things that really matter is to stop doing so many of the things that really don’t.

 

 

 

 

Categories: Career Development Execution Personal Leadership Work Life Integration | Comments Off on Busyness

Weaknesses

Posted by on October 24, 2010

All of us have them but the real question from a personal and professional leadership standpoint is what should we do about them?  In the old days of positional leadership everyone was encouraged to work on improvement in every area so they could be the best overall leader possible.

Of course if our weaknesses are in the character area we must do whatever it takes to eliminate the wrong attitudes and negative behavior.  Beyond that spending a major amount of time trying to gain some small advantage in any area where you have no skills or passion is basically a waste of time.

Regardless of the time invested and the seminars attended if you are not creatively wired then you probably never will be.  If you are not gifted at project management then just working at it harder and longer will not produce significant results.

For the maximum amount of return and to make the largest impact you must prioritize working in the areas of your strengths.  This is where you are naturally strong and your passion fuels what you do every day and not your job description.

There are many different types and styles of effective leaders.  What you must determine is what do I uniquely bring to the table for the leadership assignment I have been given that sets me apart for this specific role. 

You may be a nine or ten in only one particular aspect of leadership but if you know what that is and you primarily stay in your strength zone then your ultimate impact will be incredible.  Most people are not willing to pay the price to be a ten at anything they had rather spend their time working on their weaknesses.

 

 

 

Categories: Career Development Personal Leadership | Comments Off on Weaknesses