Category Archive: Servant Leader

Shut Up And Listen

Posted by on June 19, 2009

This phrase is not only the title for one of the chapters in Mark DeMoss’s book on Wisdom but it is also incredibly good advice.  To make his point he uses the confirmation hearings of Justice Samuel Alito where most senators spent almost all of their allotted thirty minutes for asking questions pontificating about their own political bias.  At the end of the day we learned very little about the new prospective judge because he had no time to talk.

Mark has many great insights in this book and on this subject he writes, “It’s safe to say that in my life I have never learned a single thing while I was talking.”  On the other hand his willingness to close his mouth and open his ears has given him a tremendous amount of knowledge from a variety of different people.

In corporate culture today the priority is on participative leadership that makes sure everyone on the team has a voice in the conversation.  For that to happen the people that used to do all of the talking have to discipline themselves to now do most of the listening.  Mark has another great quote when he says, “To dominate a meeting or conversation is not power, informed good judgment is power.”

When someone is a great listener it says several things about them.  First they are learners by nature and they seek out other people who can teach them something.  Second they are also humble because they do not always have to be the expert on everything and they are willing to be quiet and even give someone else the credit.  Finally they are relational because they want the other person to know that what they have to say and who they are as a person is important to them.

Mark believes that when a person is not a good listener, “it’s like standing on a balcony over breathtaking panorama and using the entire time to stare into a mirror.”  OUCH!!

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Resolving Conflict

Posted by on June 17, 2009

All of us at some point in time will have conflict and disagreements with someone else either in our personal lives or professionally at work.  These situations can be painful at times but seeking resolution is the only way to maintain positive momentum in your life.

There are at least three critical steps that you must take if you want to restore the relationship and move forward in your own life.

1.       Own Your Part—In every disagreement there are always two sides to the story.  I have never known a situation where there was not some responsibility for the problem with both parties.  If we think the other party is the major offender then we tend to wait for them to make the first move.  Instead we need to take whatever percentage of the problem is ours even if it’s minor and do what we need to do to admit it and ask for forgiveness regardless of what the other person does.

2.      Talk Person Privately—Most of the time when we are having problems with another person we tend to go to other people first and complain or try to find emotional support.  What we should do is go privately to the person who offended us first and tell them in a respectful way why we are offended and give them a chance to respond.  When we are talking about someone else to another person rather than talking to them the situation will only get worse.

3.      Give Benefit Of Doubt—When we sense that a conversation is not going well and we can tell it may hurt us we have a decision to make.  We can either assume the worst about the other person’s motives or we can believe the best.  Many times if we can give them the benefit of the doubt at this critical moment then even though it may still hurt there will be no lasting damage because we give them a pass because we trust their heart.

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Clock Building Not Time Telling

Posted by on June 12, 2009

The days of all decisions being made solely at the top with a few people involved are fading fast.  Throughout the Industrial Age of leadership during the last half of 20th century this was the only model of leadership.  The overwhelming percentage of the workforce was for the most part simply telling time based on the clear instructions that were given for them to follow.

Today we are leading from an Information and Idea Age model of leadership.  The entire development process has been delegated to various teams so that everyone who can contribute will be involved.  In essence people are now being asked to help build the clock.

Most people think the changing role of the top executives is by far the most dramatic shift that has occurred.  In a sense of scope that may be true.  Key leaders today do not have to know all the answers to all the questions they only need to know what are the right questions to ask? 

There primary responsibility today is to make sure they have the best possible people on their team because the quality and success of the clocks they are making will determine the future success of the entire organization.

The most dramatic shift in leadership today certainly from a standpoint of scale is not at the top but in the middle of organizations.  There is a big difference in telling time compared to building clocks.  Today people are daily being asked what do you think and what would you recommend?

Many organizations are caught in the middle of this transition and seem to be stuck.  The problem could be that you are asking people who only know how to tell time to build clocks and they are not capable of making that change.  Don’t give up on clock building just find the right people who know how to build great clocks and you will be fine.

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How To Create A Legacy

Posted by on June 8, 2009

 

I have attended a lot of funerals over the years and the one common denominator is in every service someone is trying to communicate the legacy of the person who has died.  There are some patterns I have noticed when people have lived their lives in such a way that truly leaves a mark on the world. 

Begin With End In Mind-All of the people that really made a difference took the long look about life and determined what they wanted the top priorities to be in their lives when it was over.  When a person values friendships then you can see a pattern from there earliest years all throughout their lives where other people came first.  If you want to be known for something later then you need to live it now. 

Leave Something Better Than Found It- This is the type of person that is always trying to help others be successful and is not consumed about themselves.  If they are a leader in the corporate world they are not looking out for number one they want the department or the corporation to be better when they leave than when they came.  The true test of someone’s leadership is not when he or she is there but what happens when they are gone. 

Gave Away More Than They Took–  In the end people are either more consumers or contributors.  They see other people as a means to their end or they see other people as the target of their generous spirit.  These are the people that are always adding value to whatever they do from community involvement, relationships, work and faith.  They simply love to give more than they take and people are moved by their humility and servant heart. 

It is never to late to work on your legacy.  The really important thing is taking the time to decide what you want it to be and then when the time comes other people will gladly step up and write your eulogy for you.

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Networking

Posted by on June 4, 2009

 

The old mindset was your success depends upon how many people you know.  Today the most important thing is how many people are you helping. 

The focus has shifted to some degree because of the culture created through the use of social media.  The motivating factor behind most people is how can I help others be successful by giving them information that will be helpful. 

It is just as important to be willing to ask other people for help as well.  A true network works then because of the dynamics created because of mutual need.  This in essence is the difference between someone being merely a contact in your database compared with a person in your life. 

Make no mistake; serious business is taking place here.  However, that is a natural result of working with people you like and respect and not using other people to get what I want. 

Never Eat Alone is a great book written by Keith Ferrazzi.  He hates what he calls networking jerks.  If you don’t want to come across as one here are few things he says you must never do: 

Don’t schmooze

Don’t rely on the currency of gossip

Don’t come to the party empty-handed

Don’t treat those under you poorly

Be transparent

Don’t be too efficient 

What we can do is to have a desire to genuinely add value to other people and by doing so knowing we will have made a difference.

 

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Coaching

Posted by on June 3, 2009

If you need help in making some major decisions in your life coaching may be exactly what you need.  There are many types of coaches available from executive, life, fitness and even spiritual.

The one major thing you need to understand about coaching is that it is not counseling or therapy.  The major focus will not be your past and the things that have gone wrong but the future and how you want it to look.

Great coaches don’t have the answers to all your questions.  Their role is to help you by knowing how to ask the right questions so you can see why you may be stuck and what your options are as you move forward.

A coach might ask, What is the one major area in your life you would like to change that would improve your life?  Then, What do you want that area to look like six months from now?  Finally, What do you need to do this week to start closing that gap?

Another important aspect of coaching is accountability.  It really helps when you have someone who is on your side and offers the necessary what do you want to accomplish before our next time together type questions.

With this accountability comes encouragement that reminds you of what you said you wanted to do to change your life and gives you the confidence that you can make it happen.

My experience in using a coach was incredible.  So what are you waiting for give them a no charge to you first call and see if it feels like a good fit.

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The Five Practices Of Leadership

Posted by on June 2, 2009

 

I am constantly reading new materials on leadership and occasionally I review great books from the past.  One of the all time classics is The Leadership Challenge by James Kouzes and Barry Posner.

This very exhaustive book centers around these five simple but very powerful practices:

 Model The Way-Find your voice by clarifying your personal values and set the example by aligning actions with shared values.

 Inspire a Shard Vision-Envision the future by imagining exciting and ennobling possibilities and enlist others in a common vision by appealing to shared aspirations.

Challenge The Process-Search for opportunities by seeking innovative ways to change, grow, and improve and experiment and take risks by constantly generating small wins and learning from mistakes.

Enable Others to Act-Foster collaboration by promoting cooperative goals and building trust.  Strengthen others by sharing power and discretion.

 Encourage The Heart-Recognize contributions by showing appreciation for individual excellence and celebrate the values and victories by creating a spirit of community.        

   

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Team Operating Principles

Posted by on May 27, 2009

The first thing I look for in putting together any team is the right chemistry for the particular task at hand.  If the team is responsible for completing a construction project I need expertise and great project managers.  When the assignment is to create a new vision statement I want very creative people that are willing to think outside the box.

One of the best books on team building is The Performance Factor by Pat MacMillan.  He is the founder and Chief Executive Officer of Team Resources Inc. an international consulting firm specializing in organizational and team development.

Regardless of the team dynamics and the task assignments there should be some guiding principles that give direction to all teams.  The following list from MacMillan is the best one I have found and creates an environment of mutual respect that drives participation and performance:

1.       We are open and honest with one another.

2.      We treat each other with dignity and respect.

3.      We listen to and respect each other’s ideas and opinions.

4.      We hold confidences.

5.      We honor our commitments.

6.      We support and invest in each other’s development.

7.      We routinely critique our processes.

8.      We have fun.

If the team leader can model and get everyone to buy into these principles then the potential for a great outcome has dramatically increased.  When teams often break down it has very little to do with the task at hand but with the way members communicate and relate to each other.

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Leadership Demands Authenticity

Posted by on May 1, 2009

There are many generational issues that have to be resolved between the Baby Boomer generation of existing leaders and the Next Generation workforce that is coming onto the scene.  The old positional power model of simply telling everyone what to do and they automatically follow with no desire for involvement in the process is gone.

Potentially the single greatest leadership quality new leaders are looking for from those in positions of responsibility is authenticity.  They place a high value on working with people that are real and genuine compared to others who like to play mind games.

A leader must know who they are personally and what they believe are the core values for themselves and the organizations they lead.  Then when the hard decisions must be made and there are many of them today, everyone on the team will trust their motives instead of questioning them.

Jack Welch placed a very high value on authenticity for his top leadership team.  In his book Winning he wrote, “Leaders can’t have an iota of fakeness.  They have to know themselves-so that they can be straight with the world, energize followers, and lead with the authority born of authenticity.”

There is nothing better at the end of a long day than to look back and know that all your actions were consistent with your character.  No more playing games just keeping it real.

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The Window and The Mirror

Posted by on April 28, 2009

I have always been an Alabama football fan since the days of Coach Bryant.  One of the things I always appreciated about him was when we lost a game he always took the responsibility in the press conference and never cast blame toward the players or officials.

According to Jim Collins in his best seller Good to Great all great leaders do the very same thing.  His team noticed this pattern in all of the very successful leaders and they called it the window and the mirror effect.

All great leaders would look out the window and give credit to other people and not themselves when things were going well.  At the same time, they would look in the mirror to assume responsibility for failure and never blame bad luck or someone else when things went poorly.

The comparison companies did just the opposite.  These leaders would look out the window to blame someone or something when they experienced negative results.  When they did get it right they would look admiringly in the mirror and take all the credit with great fanfare.

We all need to apply this lesson on a personal level.  It is always easy to justify our bad behavior when we can use what someone else said or did to hurt us as an excuse.  Assuming personal responsibility for our attitudes, words and actions is the first major step in becoming a leader who is driven by character and not by the fading recognition of the crowd.

 

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