Spiritual Growth | Coaching Churches

Category Archive: Spiritual Growth

Developing Intentional Relationships With Non-Christians

Posted by on October 22, 2016

For years we have all been told that we are to be witnesses for Christ so that people can come to know Him. The major problem is that the prevailing strategy that has been used for years has never worked for the overwhelming majority of Christians.

The problem is not that this command is somehow out of date to the point that it should no longer be taken seriously. The critical failure is how we as leaders have modeled this ministry and trained our people to carry out this most important assignment for the church.

In the worst of situations we have trained our people to memorize a lot of facts and then after meeting a total stranger try to share all of the facts with them so they can make the most important decision of their lives all in thirty minutes.

I will acknowledge that in some cases there are divine appointments that God has prepared someone’s heart for just such a meeting. However, that does not mean that we should take this aggressive an approach with everyone we meet.

In the normal course of everyday we all tell stories about things that have happened in our lives. The subject matter can be anything from our last vacation, great new restaurants, job stress and personal family problems.

The reason why all of this works so easily is that it is in the normal course of our everyday lives within relationships that already exist to some degree. This is the biblical model of as you are going about your life share with other people the incredible and wonderful things that He has done in your life.

When evangelism moves from direct confrontation to casual conversations more people are going to respond to the good news of the gospel.

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Don't Light Your Own Fire

Posted by on September 23, 2016

We all understand that light is used in the Bible as a picture of truth, wisdom and understanding. It is important to daily walk in the light and not in the darkness which represents confusion, deception and lies.

Many times in our life we find ourselves in a position of asking God for specific light or guidance in a major life decision. We sincerely want His will and we completely trust His plans for our life. The hard part is when the light does not come and we find ourselves sitting in the darkness of not knowing what to do.

The great danger in waiting on God is that many times we will try to light our own fire because we so desperately want to move forward. We can justify this because the path we have chosen to walk is a good one and surely this is something God will bless. When we do this the scripture says that eventually all our manmade fires will go out and we will be in a far darker place than where we began.

The darkness that comes from lighting our own fire is the result of not being patient and trusting God’s perfect timing. The end result is feeling alone with fear and doubt as your constant companions.

The darkness that comes from waiting on God is the result of His wanting to reveal things to you about yourself that can only be found in a dark place. Even though the future may not be clear the present is because you are finally aware that He was with you in the darkness all along.

Waiting with Him is always better than walking ahead without Him.

Categories: Personal Leadership Spiritual Growth | Comments Off on Don't Light Your Own Fire

The Value Of Significance In Life

Posted by on September 13, 2016

We all need to ask ourselves what we really want out of life. For many, it is success and all the outward benefits and rewards that come from achievement in the corporate culture of our day.

I will never forget an interview that I saw with Tom Brady after he had won his last Super Bowl. After he talked about all the fame and fortune he had achieved, he then made the following statement, “there has to be more to life than this.”

There is and it is called significance, which is all about adding value to other people. I have talked with a lot of people near the very end of their lives.

The common denominator for all of these conversations is that when it is all said and done all that really matters is have we made a difference in the lives of other people.

Today if we are not careful, we are in danger of reducing all of our important relationships down to a few words on a voice mail message, likes on social media or a picture attachment to a text message.

Can someone be professionally successful and realize personal significance at the same time? Absolutely.

Everyone who has accomplished both has come to the critical understanding that professional success is only the means to the end of having personal significance through helping other people.

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Moving Beyond Paycheck

Posted by on August 12, 2016

As Christians we are to do everything as unto the Lord and not unto men. That means we have far more than a job we have a calling.

We tend to live segmented lives with separate time and devotion given to work, family, faith, friends and entertainment. What comes with this mentality is the faith part of our lives tends to be limited to what we do on Sunday and it has very little practical impact on how we live the other six days of the week.

For some of us it goes way beyond that. Our careers become the major source of emotional fulfillment in our lives and we become seduced by all the power, position and possessions that come with worldly success.

In my opinion every Christian should see themselves living in full time ministry on mission for God. Their career then becomes their platform for impacting other people and not merely project deadlines and performance reviews.

When your whole life is integrated around your faith everything you do and every relationship you have takes on eternal significance. The person you are now working for is not your boss but the One who died for you so that you might live for Him.

Changing the world one person at a time is a career worthy of God’s grace in our lives and it is way beyond any paycheck that any company can give.

How do you keep your work from just being a job?

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Customer Service At Home

Posted by on June 10, 2016

We all enjoy the experience of some organization or person who goes the extra mile and delivers high quality personal service. In a day when most companies either put you on a phone tree from hell or only allow contact through email it is really nice when another person is simply pleasant and nice.

Mobile Travel Guide declares themselves as the gold standard of travel ratings and reviews. They rate hotels and restaurants on a system of one to five stars based on their performance. When you see their sign and there are at least three to the coveted five stars rating you know that the experience will be a good one.

Every day when we all go out into the public world of work and our daily to do list we interact with lots of other people. Most of the time, we really try very hard to be courteous and polite to others especially if they are customers, suppliers, co workers or friends. We give, give, and give to other people all day until we are emotionally spent by the time we head home.

When I evaluate my customer service rating at home I have to admit many times I would not receive even one star much less three to five. I treat the people I care about the most with the least amount of patience and kindness.

If the Mobile staff were to interview the people who are the closest to you how many stars would you receive? I am going to do whatever it takes to consistently improve my score. How about you?

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Security and Significance Part III

Posted by on April 12, 2016

God has designed us so that the most important needs in our lives can only be met through Him. His next priority is for us to be in a relationship with our spouse that reflects Christ unconditional love for the church and His willing submission to the will of the Father.

The trap I mentioned in the last post is that we can move our faith to the top of the list of personal priorities but we can substitute church for Christ. Church in many ways is just like the emotional support we get from our career.

We can serve in an important role and gain significance through our responsibilities and tremendous encouragement from all the people we help. Although these are certainly good things the danger of religion taking the place of a relationship is always emotionally seductive.

Even with faith at the top of the list and family in second place there are dangers there as well. When husbands and wives do not place their personal relationship above all other people and the pain of rejection starts hurting both parties they move their remaining emotional energy to the children.

After all doing what is best for the children is a worthy goal and it brings great emotional significance. It can be easy to justify hanging in a bad marriage “for the sake of the children.”

There is only one major problem, it will never work. The most loving thing a parent can ever do for a child is to love God in a passionate real way and love their spouse with grace and humility.

Other people and other things can never give us what only God can provide unconditional love and lasting significance. Beyond that the single most important relationship that we have in this life is with our spouse. Church and children can be dangerous temporary substitutes but they too will leave us empty in the end.

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The Target Has Changed For Churches

Posted by on March 17, 2016

Any time you talk about some group of people being your primary target most people in the church get offended. It is if they are concerned that because they are not in the target group their needs are not going to be met. This of course should not have to be the case at all.

For over fifty years at least the same target group has existed from a demographic and psychographic standpoint. They were the adults that made up the World War II and the Baby Boomer generations. We developed programs and services to meet their needs and they would bring their children to church with them.

A typical adult conversation on the way home would be how did you like the message, music and the lesson? If both adults had a good experience, then they would deal with whatever issues the children had and bring them back the next Sunday.

Today the overwhelming majority of adults under the age of forty are not coming to church any more. They have a different world view about God and the need for role of the church in their lives.

When they do come because someone has relationally connected with them at work or in the neighborhood the conversation on the way home has completely changed. Now the major thing that matters is what type of experience did their children have and do they want to come back again?

If the answer is yes, the adults are now willing to make the adjustments and they will be back. If the answer is no, then regardless of what happened to mom and dad they are not going to give you a second look.

If your preschool, children and student ministries are not world-class in your church then you cannot expect to reach families in today’s culture. The conversations on the way home have changed and your target group must change with it as well.

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The Power of Gratitude

Posted by on February 12, 2016

I was thinking again about Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff by Richard Carlson where he talked about his tendency to start thinking negative thoughts with all the bad news that is out there today. I fight this as well, especially when you are going through a hard time personally or when there is this slight issue of a failing economy.

It is important to build into your life the daily discipline of thinking about all the good things that you have in your life. We all should be grateful just to be alive and the basics of life including food, clean water and shelter. There are multiplied millions of people who struggle just to make it through one more day.

Beyond that we have families and friends and hopefully we are fulfilled by doing something with our life that we know will make a difference. Through our faith we can have forgiveness for our failures and hope for the future.

The power of gratitude though is released when we go beyond thinking about it and personally telling someone else how thankful we are for what they mean to us. This sets off a chain reaction of them passing on their gratitude to someone else in their life and the cycle continues.

So as we all are waiting today for an invasion of terrorists, the fall of the stock market or who is going to win the election lets start spreading something positive in our lives by telling just one person thanks.

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Everyone Is Looking For Security and Significance

Posted by on January 1, 2016

The two major things that all people are searching for in life are security and significance. Security is the understanding that I am unconditionally loved and significance means that my life has value and meaning.

Most of the time we are searching for both of these needs in all of the wrong places. We try to find unconditional love in human relationships that all inevitably fail us to some degree and cause pain.

Then we look to our career, church and children to give us the meaning and validation in life that we so desperately need. Here again although all of these are quote good things and can give us some degree of significance they to in the end leave us wanting more.

All human relationships are important and being successful in every area of our lives should be our goal. However, the major truth here we are missing is that we can never look to other people or things to give us what only God can provide.

When our relationship with God is first and His mission for our life is the ultimate measure of our success then all other relationships and endeavors play a secondary role and become complimentary and not primary.

Then when the pain, failure and rejection come in this life they can always be measured against the grace and peace that only God can give. The assurance that He will never leave us and nothing can separate us from His love gives us the courage to risk living life to the fullest.

In the end He is enough.

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Man In The Mirror

Posted by on October 8, 2014

I finally realized after many years of making excuses that the hardest person in my life to deal with was myself. If you can discipline yourself to keep yourself at the top of your priority list then you will solve most of the other problems in your life. I was reviewing my Life Plan today and had a good look in the mirror. This post by John Maxwell was very helpful:

“In leadership, the first person we must examine is ourselves. That’s the Mirror Principle. If our self-perception is distorted, then our attempts to influence others will be misguided or even manipulative. The first person I must know is myself; this brings self-awareness.”