Category Archive: Spiritual Growth

Priority Of Personal Development

Posted by on July 22, 2009

I was attending a conference many years ago and heard for the first time this life changing quote, “You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.”  I made a commitment on that day to apply this principle in my life.

The people you meet part of this development applies to all of life.  There is great wisdom in finding people who know more than you do about your area of expertise or interest and asking them for a meeting so that you can learn all that you can from someone who has already been where you want to go.  Every year you should have a list of at least ten new individuals that are successful and willing to invest in your life.

Please do not limit this to your professional life because you can find people everywhere who are great spouses or parents or involved in church and community work.  Some of the greatest connections I have ever made were in the normal flow of life because I was always looking for someone who could teach me something.

In the area of reading I have found that for every ten books that I read on a particular subject I will find at least one that will permanently change my life for good.  These become the books that you read at least once a year just to remind yourself of all the truths that you need to make sure you are applying in your life.

One of the disciplines I have developed over the years is that I will write the power statements or great quotes on the inside flyleaf of every good book so that I can always go back for a quick review.  If you will set a goal of at least one new book a month to start you will be amazed by how much your life will change because as you read your capacity to understand and develop new skills will be exponentially multiplied.

I am sure if this quote were made today it would include some reference to the incredible amount of information on the web.  Today you can read blogs and watch videos by some of the greatest communicators on life’s most challenging subjects whenever you want and usually without any cost but your time.

All learning that enhances personal development is an investment in your future that will give you an incredible return on your investment.

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The Nostalgia Of The Past

Posted by on July 20, 2009

Most of us are over scheduled and have way too much stress in our lives.  As a reaction to the pressure of the present we often find ourselves looking back and longing for a time when life was simpler and slower than it is today.

What we selectively seem to forget is that the past had its own set of problems and even though things may have been slower that does not mean they were better.  When we live in the past we also are blinded to the blessings of the present and are not able to enjoy what we have that is good in our lives.

In Richard Swenson’s book entitled Margin he deals with this romantic mentality of turning back the clock to a better time.  He writes, “The analogy of a clock is not helpful.  It is not the question of a clock, but a compass.  The issue is not chronology, but direction.”

It is impossible to create more time in any given day.  With that reality clearly in mind then we are only left with two options.  We must know what is important each and every day and make sure those are the things that get done.

What is not so clear is that this does not mean adding these important things to an already full calendar.  The ability to know what to say no to on a moment by moment basis is the only way we will have the emotional, spiritual and physical margin we need to live today without regrets.

Clocks can only tell you what time it is while your personal compass can tell you what to do with your time.  Big Difference!!!!!!!

 

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Lighting Own Fire

Posted by on July 16, 2009

We all understand that light is used in the Bible as a picture of truth, wisdom and understanding.  It is important to daily walk in the light and not in the darkness which represents confusion, deception and lies.

Many times in our life we find ourselves in a position of asking God for specific light or guidance in a major life decision.  We sincerely want His will and we completely trust His plans for our life.  The hard part is when the light does not come and we find ourselves sitting in the darkness of not knowing what to do.

The great danger in waiting on God is that many times we will try to light our own fire because we so desperately want to move forward.  We can justify this because the path we have chosen to walk is a good one and surely this is something God will bless.  When we do this the scripture says that eventually all our manmade fires will go out and we will be in a far darker place than where we began.

The darkness that comes from lighting our own fire is the result of not being patient and trusting God’s perfect timing.  The end result is feeling alone with fear and doubt as your constant companions.

The darkness that comes from waiting on God is the result of His wanting to reveal things to you about yourself that can only be found in a dark place.  Even though the future may not be clear the present is because you are finally aware that He was with you in the darkness all along. 

Waiting with Him is always better than walking ahead without Him.

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Moving Beyond Significance

Posted by on July 14, 2009

We owe a great deal to several authors who have written excellent books on how to move from success as the primary goal in your life to real significance. Probably the book Half Time by Bob Buford has made the most life changing impact with people who have worked very hard to be professionally successful in the corporate world only to find their personal life lacked real purpose and meaning.

Significance moves way beyond profits as a definition of success to people and how is my life adding value to others. Success many times is simply about what do we get at the end of the day while significance is about what are we willing to give away to make a difference.

If you want to have an eternal impact on the people who are a part of your life you must move beyond significance to surrender. When you live a total life of surrender your definition of success is totally determined by the One you are following. This definition alone will give you true significance as He uses your life story to impact other people in ways that will permanently change them for their good.

This means that we must die to the world’s definitions of success as the accumulation of power, position and pleasure and conform our expectations to His perfect will for our lives. This may include the ability to make a lot of money and have great positions of leadership responsibility. It may also mean a life that is filled with suffering and difficulty that can be leveraged by God to even have a greater impact on other people as they see you daily walk in grace and peace.

A surrendered life is one that is lived in total partnership with God so that He can use us as He sees best to change the world one person at a time starting with us. There can be no greater definition of success and significance in this life.

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Problems With The Boss

Posted by on July 10, 2009

All of us have worked at some point in time for someone who at worst just could not get it done or at best was personality challenged.   We come into our jobs with the hope that we can be a part of the solution and yet there are times when we don’t see the progress we had hoped for.

I changed jobs three times in the first five years out of college because I thought the problem was external.  If I could just get with the right company with a great boss then I would be successful.  To my shock I realized that the real problems were internal and I was simply carrying all of my personal issues from one company to the next expecting different results.

These are some of the things I have learned over the years about problems with the boss:

1.       Check Your Motives—make sure that your real agenda is to do what is best for the organization and not for yourself.  When you make it a priority to help make your boss successful then it becomes a win-win for everyone.

2.      Keep It Real—when things are not changing at the pace you had hoped you have a choice to make.  You can get your feelings hurt and start telling people what they want to hear and emotionally quit or you can have the character to tell the truth with a respectful attitude.

3.      Watch Your Tongue—if you allow your concerns to become public in an inappropriate way then you just became part of the problem and not part of the solution.  You should never say anything negative about another person to someone else because it will only spread disunity and destroy team moral.

4.      Do Your Job—when we get in the negative cycle not only are we causing problems for other people we are not focused on getting our own jobs done with excellence.  We must show up every day with a clean heart and high level of commitment to be and do our best.

 

 I can promise you it is not in your job description to change your boss or even your organization for that matter.  What is there is a clear set of priorities that need to be done by a person who is mature enough to stay positive when things don’t go their way and passionate enough to never settle for anything less than their personal best every day.

 

 

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Lessons From Michael Jackson

Posted by on July 8, 2009

We have all been affected by the sudden death of Michael Jackson in different ways.  Some of us feel compassion for the children who are left behind to grow up in the huge shadow of their father.  Others are feeling regret for such a waste of a very talented person who lost so much of what really matters during his life.

Most of us will never have to deal with all of the things that Michael did that come with being a famous celebrity who earns millions of dollars in income.  However we all have to deal with the life issues that he faced:

1.       Resolve Past Hurts—if you do not deal with the pain from when people close to you have failed you when you were growing up then you will surely carry those open wounds into adulthood.  The tragedy for all of us is when the core issues that we are dealing with as adults are really problems that surfaced many years ago but were never appropriately resolved.

2.      Trust Right People—show me who your friends are and I can tell you a lot about your character.  The temptation for all of us is to surround ourselves with people who tell us all that we want to hear but they really don’t care enough to tell us the truth.  These people make us feel good for the moment but leave us eventually broken and empty when the fun runs out.

3.      Develop Core Values—there is no doubt in my mind that many times Michael wanted to do the right thing and really wanted to help people.  When you don’t have a solid foundation to build on you will consistently make very bad decisions that seem extremely inconsistent with whom you want to be as a person.

4.      Decide How Much Is Enough—driven people are never satisfied because they are trying to satisfy their deepest needs with things that can never bring real peace and fulfillment in life.  If you are not content with what you have now there is no reason to believe you will be in the future regardless of how much you get. 

Michael Jackson’s legacy will be a hotly debated subject for years to come.  Some only see the bad and others refuse to say anything was wrong at all.  Will the people closest to you be debating your legacy when you are gone or will they all agree it was a life well spent.

 

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Faith vs. Trust

Posted by on July 7, 2009

In the Christian life we are taught from the very beginning the importance that faith plays in our lives.  Without it we cannot know God on a personal relationship level and we cannot reach our potential in this life without putting it into practice every day.

Faith allows us to not only believe that God exists but that everything He has promised us in His word is true.  Beyond that the core issue is that God is able to do what He has said and there is nothing too hard for Him.

If faith answers the question Is God able then trust answers the question Is God good?  Trust goes beyond faith and believes that everything He has asked me to do is not only for His glory but also for my good.

When suffering comes faith will help you to believe that God is able to deliver you out of your trials but trust helps you to rest in the fact that if you are not delivered His grace will still be sufficient.

Most Christians are no longer afraid of what God is going to do to them because they have the complete assurance of their salvation.  However, the major problem is that we daily walk in the fear of  what God might do with us if we fully surrender our lives to Him.

There is no greater deception for the believer than to fear the One who loves you the most.  Yes God is able but far more than that He is also good.

 

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Promises We Make

Posted by on July 3, 2009

This is the sixth in a series of ten posts on promises we should be willing to make to the people that matter the most in our lives.  A promise goes beyond a mere commitment to do something it carries the clear expectation that we are going to pay the price to do what we said we would do.

The first promise was I will sincerely listen to what you have to say.  Really listening to someone without a personal agenda communicates to them that they have value in your life and that you sincerely care.

The second promise was I will always tell you the truth.  Without this there can be no basis of trust, just ask Elizabeth Edwards how painful that can be.

The third promise is I will apologize when I am wrong.  When someone sincerely and genuinely apologizes we know two things.  They are willing to humble themselves and they want to restore their relationship with us because we still matter to them.

The forth promise is I will forgive you when you hurt me.  There can be no lasting peace in any relationship without the power of forgiveness.  This is even more critical when someone has come to us and sincerely apologized they are asking without saying it will you please forgive me.

The fifth promise is I will live with hope and believe the best.  Relationships are messy and there are always going to be times when people do or say things that upset us.  It is at that precise moment that we have a critical choice to make about how we process what we are hearing.  The bottom line is we will either choose to believe the best about the other person or we will assume the worst. 

The sixth promise is I will not manipulate change in you.  This deals with our core motivation when we interact with other people.  If our goal in sharing with this person is to only tell them what they are doing wrong and why they should be the one to change then we are manipulating. 

We must first assume personal responsibility for whatever percentage of the problem is our responsibility by admitting it and giving a sincere apology.  Then and only then are we ready to talk to the person about what they did in a way that will really try to help them to move forward as well.

It is very easy to see what other people are doing wrong and sometimes almost impossible to see the blind spots in our own lives.  When people first see our humility then they will be open to our advice. 

 

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Level Five Leaders

Posted by on June 30, 2009

In my opinion the best organizational leadership book that has been written is Good to Great by Jim Collins.  It proves beyond any doubt some things we have always know about effective leadership but he discovers some key principles that fly in the face of everything we have been taught in the past.

One thing that is really not new but clearly prioritized in his book is the importance of character in the life of any leader.  Character ensures that the motives of the leader are always focused on what is best for the people they are leading and not for themselves.

The most significant myth that this book destroys about great leaders is that they all must be very outgoing cheerleader type personalities and that they have to lead with an authoritarian dictatorial style to be effective.

According to Collins, “Level 5 leaders display a compelling modesty, are self-effacing and understated.  In contrast, two thirds of the comparison companies had leaders with gargantuan personal egos that contributed to the demise or continued mediocrity of the company.”

This personality type should never be mistaken for laid back soft leaders who don’t have the strength to make the hard calls.  As a matter of fact they combine humility with an incredible strong will to make sure the right things are getting done.  If they have to they would fire their mother if that is what was necessary for the long term benefit of the organization.

They also give credit to others when things are going well and when they are not they assume personal responsibility.  This combination of personal humility and professional will make for the type of leader anyone would want to follow.

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Promises We Make

Posted by on June 25, 2009

This is the fifth in a series of ten posts on promises we should be willing to make to the people that matter the most in our lives.  A promise goes beyond a mere commitment to do something it carries the clear expectation that we are going to pay the price to do what we said we would do.

The first promise was I will sincerely listen to what you have to say.  Really listening to someone without a personal agenda communicates to them that they have value in your life and that you sincerely care.

The second promise was I will always tell you the truth.  Without this there can be no basis of trust, just ask Elizabeth Edwards how painful that can be.

The third promise is I will apologize when I am wrong.  When someone sincerely and genuinely apologizes we know two things.  They are willing to humble themselves and they want to restore their relationship with us because we still matter to them.

The forth promise is I will forgive you when you hurt me.  There can be no lasting peace in any relationship without the power of forgiveness.  This is even more critical when someone has come to us and sincerely apologized they are asking without saying it will you please forgive me.

The fifth promise is I will live with hope and believe the best.  Relationships are messy and there are always going to be times when people do or say things that upset us.  It is at that precise moment that we have a critical choice to make about how we process what we are hearing.

The motive behind the message a person is communicating is extremely important.  Most of the time it will not be immediately apparent what their motive is but every time we bring our own presuppositions and expectations into each conversation. 

The bottom line is we will either choose to believe the best about the other person or we will assume the worst.  When we assume the worst we will walk away hurt or even bitter.  When we assume the best regardless of what they say and how upset they are we can give them a pass because we trust their heart.

 

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