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Category Archive: Strategic Planning

How To Have Difficult Conversations When You Hate Conflict

Posted by on May 24, 2017

This issue is one of the hardest things I have to deal with in working with leaders who are wired to avoid conflict. My only effective coaching strategy is to show them through their own experience that the longer they wait the higher the price. So if you hate all the drama, deal with it early and the outcome will be well worth the risk. Excellent post by Joel Garfinkle:

“Avoiding or delaying a difficult conversation can hurt your relationships and create other negative outcomes. It may not feel natural at first, especially if you dread discord, but you can learn to dive into these tough talks by reframing your thoughts.

Begin from a place of curiosity and respect, and stop worrying about being liked. Conflict avoiders are often worried about their likability. While it’s natural to want to be liked, that’s not always the most important thing. Lean into the conversation with an open attitude and a genuine desire to learn. Start from a place of curiosity and respect — for both yourself and the other person. Genuine respect and vulnerability typically produce more of the same: mutual respect and shared vulnerability.”

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3 Steps To Resolving Conflict

Posted by on May 19, 2017

All of us at some point in time will have conflict and disagreements with someone else either in our personal lives or professionally at work. These situations can be painful at times but seeking resolution is the only way to maintain positive momentum in your life.

There are at least three critical steps that you must take if you want to restore the relationship and move forward in your own life.

Own Your Part—In every disagreement there are always two sides to the story. I have never known a situation where there was not some responsibility for the problem with both parties. If we think the other party is the major offender then we tend to wait for them to make the first move. Instead we need to take whatever percentage of the problem is ours even if it’s minor and do what we need to do to admit it and ask for forgiveness regardless of what the other person does.
Talk To Person Privately—Most of the time when we are having problems with another person we tend to go to other people first and complain or try to find emotional support. What we should do is go privately to the person who offended us first and tell them in a respectful way why we are offended and give them a chance to respond. When we are talking about someone else to another person rather than talking to them the situation will only get worse.
Give Them Benefit Of Doubt—When we sense that a conversation is not going well and we can tell it may hurt us we have a decision to make. We can either assume the worst about the other person’s motives or we can believe the best. Many times if we can give them the benefit of the doubt at this critical moment then even though it may still hurt there will be no lasting damage because we give them a pass because we trust their heart.

The reason many times we can so easily see problems in other people is those same things live within us.

Categories: Career Development Marriage Organizational Culture Parenting Pastoral Leadership | Comments Off on 3 Steps To Resolving Conflict

10 Things You Will Hear In A Toxic Workplace

Posted by on May 17, 2017

One of the hardest things I have to deal with as an executive coach is to help any leader improve when in reality they are working in a toxic culture. I remember Jim Collins describing it as a place where the truth can no longer be told because leaders keep shooting the messenger. Trust has been lost and silos have been built to protect everyone from each other and the organization. Liz Ryan is always excellent:

“Just because you don’t like your job doesn’t mean you are any less talented, capable, smart or creative than you ever were. You are growing new muscles through this painful experience that stinks to live through but will make you stronger in the end.”

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The Role Of Storytelling In Creating Your Culture

Posted by on May 12, 2017

Every leader is constantly trying to find new and creative ways to communicate the culture of their organization both internally and externally. I have found no better way than storytelling.

The simplest definition of storytelling is when you can link existing personnel, ongoing priorities and outstanding performance then you have a story to tell. This will allow you to reinforce core values and celebrate success by acknowledging over and above situations that give credit to your people and remind everyone of what is really important.

In essence, if you have no stories to tell, then you are not performing in critical areas. The good news is that in most organizations there are character driven people that are doing an outstanding job. The bad news is their stories are not being told.

I have never seen this work informally by just asking people for outstanding results during a meeting or telling a few stories during annual meetings. This will probably require formalizing this entire process to create a system where stories can be routinely asked for and submitted to someone who can evaluate them and then find an appropriate platform for communication.

This must not though feel like a monthly performance review system where everyone is checked against their numbers. It needs to be like what happened great in your area this month that would encourage everyone in the organization to know.

The formula is simple existing personnel + ongoing priorities + outstanding performance = Success. The only missing piece is telling the story.

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6 Ways To Energize Your Team

Posted by on May 10, 2017

I have often said that leaders more than anything else are dealers in hope. You are the emotional thermostat for your team. If they sense your positive attitude it will give them the confidence that we will get through this and win in the end. This Michael Hyatt post is excellent as always:

“As a leader, you have an effect on people. When you leave the room, people either feel taller or smaller. This is an almost super-hero power, but, unfortunately, leaders are often unconscious of it. A few years ago, I met with an author I had always admired. It wasn’t our first meeting; I had met with him a few times previously. I had always enjoyed being with him and left our encounters with a renewed commitment to serve him well.

But this time was different. He marched into the meeting with an entourage of assistants and a heavy dose of entitlement. Something had changed.”

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6 Characteristics Of An Effective Vision

Posted by on April 21, 2017

When we think of the word vision we are drawn to a picture of the future of how things can be better than they are in the present. Most vision casting does a good job of painting a hopeful image of the positive benefits involved but not a very realistic job of the costs involved to get there.

This is a major problem because when the negative forces and fears involved in the change process start to appear and people are not prepared they can give up very quickly resulting in the death of the vision. John Kotter in his book Leading Change lists all the characteristics that should be included in an effective vision:

Imaginable: Conveys a picture of what the future will look like
Desirable: Appeals to the long-term interests of employees, customers, stockholders, and others who have a stake in the enterprise
Feasible: Comprises realistic, attainable goals
Focused: Is clear enough to provide guidance in decision making
Flexible: Is general enough to allow individual initiative and alternative responses in light of changing conditions
Communicable: Is easy to communicate; can be successfully explained within five minutes

The change process for most people is extremely difficult because of the fear of the unknown. There are powerful forces involved that will try to maintain the status quo at all costs. The pain of the present must be contrasted with the pain of the change process so that the people will know that the option of no change is not realistic.

People also need to be told on the front end that sacrifices are probably going to need to be made and there will be discomfort involved during the transition. However, if the vision takes the group to a better and more viable place then all the costs involved will be worth it every time.

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The Different Approaches To Setting Strategy

Posted by on April 12, 2017

I have been living with this subject for the last 6 months. I have become a fan of Michael Porter and am just beginning to understand how important strategy is to sustainable competitive advantage. At the end of the day, there are only so many organizational efficiency changes you can implement. Without a clear strategy, you will lose profitability and risk total failure over time. This HBR post is very helpful on this critical subject:

“What is your strategy? Most senior executives can confidently answer this question. How has that strategy changed over time? This one usually gets a quick answer too. How do you make decisions about changing that strategy? Now it gets much more difficult. The fact is, many senior executives struggle to describe how they make strategic decisions. That’s a serious problem, since the process for making strategic decisions can shape the strategy itself. Making a strategy without knowing your process is like sailing without a compass.”

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Beyond The Walls

Posted by on March 21, 2017

The days of build it and they will come are over for churches. We may not want to admit it but for most Christians when they talk about church in their minds it’s about what happens at the buildings and not out in the community.

I recently met with a very successful committed Christian who is a pediatrician who wanted to grow more spiritually and get more involved in ministry. It was obvious to me from the very start of the conversation this meant to him taking on more responsibility at the church.

I began to share with him the vision that he could do more through his practice to reach young couples for Christ than we could ever do at the building. They would not even come to the building to hear Billy Graham but they were several new couples sitting in his waiting room every week expecting their first child.

In this postmodern age, we must never minimize the importance of the church gathered for worship and ministry but we must prioritize the church scattered for evangelism and missions. We must find new ways to take the gospel to where people live, work and play.

By the end of the conversation the light had come on for my friend because he no longer had a career but he now had a calling. That’s what happens when you change the definition of success from increasing profits to impacting people.

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How To Thrive As A Leader In Uncertain Times

Posted by on March 10, 2017

When everything is going well most people really don’t pay that much attention to the overall attitude of their leaders. On the other hand, when things start falling apart that is the critical place they go to see how much trouble are we really in as an organization. This Forbes post gives leaders several practical tips:

“We human beings are wired for certainty. A lack of it tends to trigger anxiety that drives people to resist anything that may further threaten the status quo…regardless of the cost. Good leaders not only work to dial down fear but to tap the passion, ingenuity and innovation it too often stifles.”

Categories: Leadership Development Leading Change | Comments Off on How To Thrive As A Leader In Uncertain Times

The Chemistry Of Great Teams

Posted by on January 27, 2017

I have probably learned more from Pat MacMillan on this subject than from any other writer. His book The Performance Factor is still a must read if you want to fully understand all the dynamics involved in leading a successful team.

When selecting team members you must have the right combination of competency and character. You really need people who are experts in their area of responsibility that can bring great factual accurate information into the discussion. However, the ultimate success of the team in my opinion will be even more driven by how people interact with each other showing mutual respect and humility.

I want everyone engaged and passionate about their contribution to the discussion but I do not want anyone attacking another person rather than debating their ideas. I have found the following list to be helpful for setting the right tone:

Treat each other with dignity and respect
Listen for understanding
Don’t take things personally; don’t mean things personally
Ask, but do not assume motives
Avoid degrading language; do not attack each other credibility
Everyone has input, regardless of position
We will not take ourselves too seriously

There is a big difference in being professional vs. being negatively personal toward another person. We must separate their ideas and comments from who they are and even though we may disagree we always value the individual.

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